Fascinating Womanhood

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Fascinating Womanhood

Shizzle's "Rules" post reminded me of this. This is sort of the opposite, because instead of asking you to act like a demanding bitch, you're supposed to be a docile housewife. The only thing the two systems have in common is dependency on men.

The book Fascinating Womanhood was writtn by Helen Andelin in 1963. I would guess it was in response to the women's liberation movement that was cropping up. Women were wearing pants, seeking higher education, working, and becoming more independent - and we can't have that, can we? oh noes!!

Apparently, women today still follow this antiquated system. Just look at all the success stories!

FW website wrote:

"I just had to write to you and thank you personally for writing  your book, "Fascinating Womanhood."  I have referred hundreds of people to it. I want  you to know that it has changed my marriage and my life.  I was married at the age of 17 and my husband was 20. We were both raised in the same church and had a lot in common.  Our belief in God and your book has been what has kept us together all of these 15 years of marriage.  We have had many struggles along the way. One day while we were still very young I finally had to talk to someone about our serious marriage problems.  I chose the pastor's wife because I knew she wouldn't tell anyone.

"After I cried with her for an hour and spilled my guts, I waited for her to fill me with her wisdom and advice. I thought for cerain she would tell me how awful my husbnd was and  how I should leave him. Instead she smiled sweetly and walked over to a shelf and handed me a book.  It was Fascinating Womanhood. I can't tell you how much I loved it.  I read it over and over. It was not only helpful but a pleasure to read. You hit dead on.  It was almost as if you lived in my house.  I found almost everything in it came very naturally to me, thankfully. My husband has since bought Man of Steel and Velvet.  We love it too.

"I want to thank you both for your time and efforts in writing them. I don't know where we would be today without them.  I even gave my daughter "The Fascinating Girl" because I wanted  her to have a good head start. I wish I had had it before I was married.  She is only 13 but I feel its not too soon to start learning. I will close or now.  I would love to know you. There is still so much I could learn or refresh on. Thank you a million times over."

Yes, apparently it's also popular with fundie housewives.... wonder why? Couldn't be because it sounds like an extension of the Old Testament...

More details can be found at the following website, which offers a summary of the book:

http://members.tripod.com/~frankysj/fwlsn06.html

There's a lot of material there, which I don't have time to address, but some of my favorite pieces of advice include

Quote:

 

Make Him Number One

A man wants a woman who will place him in the number one position on her list of priorities, not somewhere down the line. He wants her other activities to revolve around him, not vice versa. This is an inner need that has dire consequences when things like children, career, homemaking, or friends are placed before him.

........

 

A man wants a clean home, and a comfortable environment. A man wants to be the king of his castle. The castle is there to serve the king, the king is not there to serve the castle. I like this quote from the book: "Create a home, not a showplace." The home should not take priority over him. (This does not give you license to neglect your duties. More on this in a later lesson.)

 

 

Quote:

 

Should a Man Make You Number One?

Sometimes this isn't possible or even right. A man's life has a different nature than a woman's. His is a leadership role. He also may play an important role in civic, religious, or social affairs. A woman's role is supportive, and she is to be her husband's helper, confidant, counselor if need be, friend and one of his greatest allies.

Failure to place him in the number one position is often the reason a man turns to another woman. Women with less than good scruples are more than willing to make your man feel important, appreciated and admired.

 

Quote:

(On insufficient reasons to work outside the home)

 

To Do Something Important: You may feel that your time at home is wasted, that your talents as a woman are not being used to their fullest extent, or that you are not making a worthwhile contribution to the world. You look at the women in the men's world and feel you pale in comparison.

This may be a prevalent notion among women of the world, but it is not a correct idea. Men's work is extremely important, but best done by men. When women leave their area of expertise, half of the whole picture is missing - part of the family set-up suffers. Women's work is every bit as important as men's, it's just in a different arena.

Because You Want a Career: You may have a special talent in one of the arts or have a skill in a highly technical field and feel you should pursue a career. Think this over carefully and consider all the reasons stated above. Your family will suffer and your husband will not be able to be in the number 1 position with you. Your marriage will suffer. Is this the price you want to pay?

Quote:

 

Should You Train Your Daughters For a Career?

If you are like most of today's mothers, you have this list made in your mind with all the reasons you need to have your daughter train for a career - she may have an emergency, she may get divorced, her husband may die, her husband may get disabled...on so on. There are serious consequences to this action. Here is the flip-side of the coin:

It Will Make Her Independent: As we have learned, one of the traits of a fascinating woman is dependency. Training for a career and a job outside the home teaches her just the opposite. She becomes independent and without the need for manly care. She has taken over one of the duties of a man and is in danger of acquiring masculine efficiency.

…..

Allows an Easy Exit: A woman with the ability to support and care for herself may be willing to call it quits with greater ease than one who is more dependent on her husband. Most marriages are hard work and have rough times. A woman with an easy-out may not weather the storms.

 

Sorry this post is getting long, but this is something I am really passionate about. As a woman, I have never been so insulted in my life. I would actually understand if this was an ideology written by men to keep women opressed (as in the Bible); but the fact that this was written by a woman just seems to negate any progress that we've tried to make in the last century, by propagating "weaker sex" stereotypes and reinforcing inequality between the sexes.

In biology, there is a system referred to as a "feedback loop" in which proteins created by Gene1 suppress Gene2, which would otherwise be producing proteins that suppress Gene1 function. (This would be a lot easier to explain with one of those nifty arrow diagrams.) This is especially important in ontogeny. Basically, once a shift occurs, a gene's function reinforces its expression. This is exactly the same thing, from a social point of view. Systems like FW reinforce patriarchal society, and suppress egalitarianism.

Someone else please say that they're outraged by this, so I don't feel like I'm making a fuss over nothing.

 

 

 


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This quote goes to the root

This quote goes to the root of the problem

"It Will Make Her Independent: As we have learned, one of the traits of a fascinating woman is dependency. Training for a career and a job outside the home teaches her just the opposite. She becomes independent and without the need for manly care. She has taken over one of the duties of a man and is in danger of acquiring masculine efficiency."

Dependency on man, church, state...whatever is control and subservience. This is another form of that. The lady's brainwashing was highly effective and her ability to implant it into other's heads is remarkable, in that it comes so easily to these women who have already accepted the basic model that her ideas are built on. That being said, sometimes I wonder as a selfish man, if it wouldn't really be nice to be seen as number 1, the king of the castle, come home to a clean house, nice meal, and have my wife be a personal slave...although the conversation would get pretty boring after awhile, so I guess I will have to reject this woman's philosophy.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Yoda


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Quote:Someone else please

Quote:
Someone else please say that they're outraged by this,

Well, 'outraged' probably isn't what I feel, given that I tend not to get particularly emotional (with some exceptions) over books written half a century ago. Sticking out tongue

 

That said, yes, of course I recognize the book as patent nonsense. Gender should not determine one's rights / freedoms (...It WILL effect your ability to find a place in certain careers. Right or wrong, that's how it is. But I think that's another topic).

Quote:
"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940


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Kevin R Brown wrote:[Well,

Kevin R Brown wrote:

[Well, 'outraged' probably isn't what I feel, given that I tend not to get particularly emotional (with some exceptions) over books written half a century ago. Sticking out tongue

 

1963 wasn't half a century ago unless somehow I've slept the last 5 years - nope, still a 2008 calendar on the wall -no buildup of dust and my computer and cell phone agree.

 

Anyway, yeah that's ridiculous. This is for men who want a stepford wife. I'd hate to be with a woman like that. I want her to be equal (and in charge in the bedroom.) This sexist nonsense may have been appropriate in 1963, but nowadays makes as much sense as using a slide rule or watching a 8 inch black and white TV.

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If for no other reason, I

If for no other reason, I find it offensive because it disagrees on almost all counts with science.  I think there are other reasons to find it offensive, too.

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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If i tried to pull this crap

If i tried to pull this crap on my wife (evangelical Christian that she is) she'd shoot me and be right in doing so because I'd be an ass (no offense to the animal).

Sounds like a book the FLDS would favor though...

"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin


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While we're handing out

While we're handing out advice to women, how about this, from

INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE
On the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships
of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this
Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God

http://www.libchrist.com/bible/1894.html

Quote:
To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the terrible experience of sex.

At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.

On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced through it.

and this little gem of wisdom:

Quote:

She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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Wow. That has to be one of

Wow. That has to be one of the most fucked up things ever written. Terrible advice - sex is at best revolting??? Who the fuck wrote that shit? Must have been one frigid bitch. Imagine a woman talking about her housework during sex - that would be a major turnoff! Women who used that must have had their lives seriously negatively impacted - either not getting any pleasure from sex or feeling guilty if they do.

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OK, I'll play devil's

OK, I'll play devil's advocate.

Feminism has told women Fascinating Womanhood is total crap. Get your own career, you don't need a man. But then women have to take a jobs where they are a slaves to the boss and the customers. So, they just trade one master for another. If they have kids, they end up with all the responsibility because they never attracted a husband to help take care of the family.

I wouldn't recommend all women being a Stepford wife, but for some women this works if they can attract and keep a husband that can take care of all her and the families financial needs. It's just another form of prostitution. But if it works for these people, who are we to judge?

I think for most people a balance between this example and "The rules" is the best compromise.

I'm only outraged when someone's Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Hapiness is treatented. No one is being force to do something against there will, so why be outraged? Disgusted a bit maybe.

 

“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” Seneca


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For me, anyway, it's not the

For me, anyway, it's not the implication that women should stay home that's offensive.  Frankly, If I could find a woman who would work all the time and let me stay home and clean the house, I'd do it in a heartbeat.  I can understand why some women would want to do it.  The offensive thing is the reasoning behind staying home, and the implication that it's the only reasonable option.

The 1950s were the perfect social experiment to demonstrate what a bad idea it is to institutionalize stay at home housewives.  Even if we didn't have all the psychology to explain exactly how bad an idea it is for women to give up their own identity to make their man's life easier, the 50s would pretty much prove it.

 

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Hambydammit wrote:Quote:

Hambydammit wrote:


Quote:

She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.

 

 

ROTFLMMFAO!! Hope these people never move in next door to me. Smiling


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My mother was the

My mother was the bread-winner in my family when I was a kid, so I've always found this stuff strange.

greek goddess wrote:
Should a Man Make You Number One?

Sometimes this isn't possible or even right. A man's life has a different nature than a woman's. His is a leadership role. He also may play an important role in civic, religious, or social affairs. A woman's role is supportive, and she is to be her husband's helper, confidant, counselor if need be, friend and one of his greatest allies.

Failure to place him in the number one position is often the reason a man turns to another woman. Women with less than good scruples are more than willing to make your man feel important, appreciated and admired.

I know quite a number of women who have told me they like being submissive. I think the same thing happens to men, too, but if a woman already enjoyed submissiveness, she'd probably find the above message appealing. It makes my skin crawl, but that's me.

greek goddess wrote:
Should You Train Your Daughters For a Career?

If you are like most of today's mothers, you have this list made in your mind with all the reasons you need to have your daughter train for a career - she may have an emergency, she may get divorced, her husband may die, her husband may get disabled...on so on. There are serious consequences to this action. Here is the flip-side of the coin:

It Will Make Her Independent: As we have learned, one of the traits of a fascinating woman is dependency. Training for a career and a job outside the home teaches her just the opposite. She becomes independent and without the need for manly care. She has taken over one of the duties of a man and is in danger of acquiring masculine efficiency.

…..

Allows an Easy Exit: A woman with the ability to support and care for herself may be willing to call it quits with greater ease than one who is more dependent on her husband. Most marriages are hard work and have rough times. A woman with an easy-out may not weather the storms.

It's like reading something from an alien culture at this point, but I think, again, that this will appeal to women who are naturally submissive. "She becomes independent and without the need for manly care" is so ridiculous that I can't even comment on it.

greek goddess wrote:
Someone else please say that they're outraged by this, so I don't feel like I'm making a fuss over nothing.

To tell you the truth, I don't think I could even muster outrage. I've read a lot of classical stuff on how women are supposed to be treated, and it's about the same. What that means, of course, is that it's basically stone-age nonsense. The same hypocricy happened 2,000 years ago, with men writing about a woman's place being in the home, then going off and falling in love with "whores" (which is what they could call women who were independent, as well as sex workers).

Maybe it's just that I'm used to independent women, as my friends and family are composed of strongheaded people in general, but I don't think this kind of bullshit really holds anyone of substance back, it just gives submissive personalities validation of their fantasies.

Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence


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Manual Of Insanity wrote:At

Manual Of Insanity wrote:

At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY.

Excellent. I would definitely, definitely want a woman with that rattling around in her head if she naturally had a strong libido anyway. Think about it: she'd be a privately whirling dirvish of drama about sex, and when she finally gave in to "temptation" it would be awesome! Then the self-reproach, the emotional turmoil, the need for a good spanking ... sigh.

The only problem, of course, is that if you actually loved the woman, you wouldn't want to see her legitimately tormented, just excited about the prospect of sex. There doesn't seem to be much in the way of love discussed in those passages, though, so I think we're safe.

Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence


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awful

it is awful to see someone write this kind of crap, and even more awful to think some women will try to follow it.


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10 bucks says the author

10 bucks says the book's author likes c*ck