The Brown Paradox
Offline So, everyone knows the Bible mentioned fantastical creatures. Talking animals, unicorns, sea monsters, dragons...
...Wait. fucking dragons?
A diverse class of reptilia that is sapient, covered in armor plating, able to both fly and breathe fire, and rivals even sauropods in size and weight (some figures suggest lengths of more than 140 ft long and 80 tons in weight, depending on the sourcebook or beastiary you flip through)?
I understand the creationist argument for dinosaurs on the Ark. I even think it's a little bit cute. "Moses only took the adorable lil' infants aboard, so there was lots of room for everybody and nobody fought."
Aww.
But wait a minute... sure, I guess most dumb beasts would just sit there and watch their little ones walk-off into the care of an old windbag human (?), and there wouldn't be much they could do after the proverbial hammer fell. But dragons?
Bilbo Baggins wasn't able to take one single piece of treasure from Smaug's lair without the great monster getting pissed and going on a town-wrecking rampage. How do you suppose they would react, then, to the sight of two of their newly hatched offsprings zipping-off to some unknown destination - and then finding that some lowly human had herded them onto a giant, rickety wooden boat?
To quote Sir Wolfram, my prized Rifts Cyberknight, whose final act of consequence was binding and kidnapping a Horned Dragon Hatchling from it's lair and running into the woods:
"...This is not how you can prevent forest fires."
This is a paradox of crushing magnitude. How do you propose that Moses managed to get every animal aboard his Ark without being turned into glowing embers by at least a few dozen terribly irate, fire-breathing, mega-damage capacity objects of his worst of worst nightmares? How was the Ark not completely obliterated?
CAUTION:
This human being has more accumulated hours playing GI Joes in the bathtub than he has sleeping, owns more polyhedral dice than he does articles of clothing and has invested more money into his personal computer than most people do on their cars.
Communicate at your own risk.
Well, if your interlocutor believes that every known species in every taxa in the biosphere was herded onto a wooden boat which managed to survive an extinction level event that constituted a form of hydrologic strip mining over the surface of the entire planet whilst simultaneously holding that the entire universe was created after the domestication of the dog, then be assured that the existence of fire-breathing mythical creatures on board the ancient equivalent of carrack is minor problem at best.
True virtue is life under the direction of reason
-Baruch de Spinoza
It is the mark of a reasoned man that he can without problem separate what he can deduce as true from that which he wishes to be true -Me
When god made them all descend on the ark he made them docile and obedient of course.
Next silly question
Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible
Life is good, and people who believe in afterlife fail to understand this.- Mindcore
You mean Noah, I'm sure.
"With its enduring appeal to the search for truth, philosophy has the great responsibility of forming thought and culture; and now it must strive resolutely to recover its original vocation." Pope John Paul II
My only comment is applause. A thousand internets to you, sir.
Will: no gyration without funkstification.
hell with the dragons... what about the termites?!?
What about severely debilitating diseases that can only survive in human or specific animal hosts?
Science works whether you believe in it or not.
There were ONLY two of each species of termite, silly and god hates sex. How many species were there... ~4,000.... ~8,000 termites... well, Noah must have been fucked then.
Read it [the bible] because we need more Atheists and nothing will get you there faster than reading the damn bible. Elvis never did no drugs!
*Penn Jillette
They don't count. Don't you know? God is responsible for diseases, the germ theory of disease has been thoroughly proved wrong.
Read it [the bible] because we need more Atheists and nothing will get you there faster than reading the damn bible. Elvis never did no drugs!
*Penn Jillette
Tis a pitty that not all queen termites require a partner to produce eggs eh? ^_^
"You are like a delightful random cruelty generator, master, poisoning all you touch. You are a testament to all organic meatbags everywhere." HK-47
God hates asexual reproduction too, in fact such a masturbatory act is explicitly forbidden, no?
Read it [the bible] because we need more Atheists and nothing will get you there faster than reading the damn bible. Elvis never did no drugs!
*Penn Jillette
*knocks on wood*
... ever seen a termite masturbate?
"You are like a delightful random cruelty generator, master, poisoning all you touch. You are a testament to all organic meatbags everywhere." HK-47
Also, what about insects and other animals with very short lifespans - ie fruit flies only live about a day.
They also never answer where all the food came from or what to do with the huge ammount of shit there would be or how the plants and fish survived (the change in salinity would kill fish)
Science works whether you believe in it or not.
god
god
god
god
I can see who was never a fundy here. Think about everything they beleive.This isn't going to make them blink. I'm not saying we shouldn't try, but the fact that they still believe anything in the bible should tell you salty water isn't going to give them reason to start thinking.
Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible
Life is good, and people who believe in afterlife fail to understand this.- Mindcore
I often wondered about this too! Well I guess the viruses are out, since they're not technically alive... and as for the other bacteria, well you must recall that this was an era in which bathing was not a priority. I'm sure they all climbed aboard on the animals or Noah's beard or in Sheth's intestines or something...
Well now you're just being silly. My kiddie Bible clearly said that Noah loaded up the ark with food. If I recall correctly, there was also a picture of Noah and his sons fishing off the side of the boat.
And I'm sure that the fruitflies and things were allowed to reproduce as necessary. And the rabbits did anyways, because they couldn't refrain.
As for the shit. Dung beetles. And they tossed the excess overboard.
Well, with the ammount of food neede you're talking about a ship bigger than ever had been built - way bigger than the ark is described - which by the way would sink quickly - a wooden ship simply cannot be built that big and still float. Also remember the only ventilation was a window that was (I think) 20 square inches. Every living thing on board would asphyxiate.
Science works whether you believe in it or not.
So there was only 2 of every animal, now say they survived the flood, then started to have children, how many generations could they produce with out have problems from incest? this is the same question i had from adam and eve, how did they start having kids and not run into problems of incest?
Someone else wasn't a Fundie. Incest is not an issue at this point to God. Fundies always see God as the answer to any logical argument like this. Rational thought is dispensed with in this mythical tale, and any problem is solved by saying God can do it.
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.
so what your saying is god thinks incest is A OK?
Incest only became a sin after Noah's time, when the gene pool was large enough to prevent it. Learnt that christian school, so
Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible
Life is good, and people who believe in afterlife fail to understand this.- Mindcore
So what if no one tells Jimbob we hit 20,000 people and he goes on fuckin his sista?!
this christian science... man... >.> flakey shit it be
"You are like a delightful random cruelty generator, master, poisoning all you touch. You are a testament to all organic meatbags everywhere." HK-47
Not just that incest is A OK, but that it's awesome. God's all for it, but He has to schedule it. So, like, all the animals + sudden population bottleneck = incest. That's okay. The emperor character in Gladiator who was hot for his sister, not okay.
It's easy: all you have to do is make something up that you like or don't like, and then find the passage in the bible that agrees with you. Thanks for playing; see you next time!
Will: no gyration without funkstification.
I've been reading your posts gang, and wondering " what are you guys on! " Kevin R. Brown lives in Alberta where winters are very very v e r y loooonnnnggg. Sober up and remember thou art athiest!
jeffrick
Keven, you live in Alberta???
I'm just across the border in Saskatchewan....
LC >;-}>
Christianity: A disgusting middle eastern blood cult, based in human sacrifice, with sacrements of canibalism and vampirism, whose highest icon is of a near naked man hanging in torment from a device of torture.
Sweet! High-five for being in geographically close proximity (and a fellow prairie province deweller to boot)!
*High-Five!*
CAUTION:
This human being has more accumulated hours playing GI Joes in the bathtub than he has sleeping, owns more polyhedral dice than he does articles of clothing and has invested more money into his personal computer than most people do on their cars.
Communicate at your own risk.
Jeffrick here in beautifull southeren Ontario (Mississauga----- not Mr. Sauga) and you two have my deepest sympathy, eh.
jeffrick
Hey you two , why are my bread and gas prices so high? Poor GTA (Greater Toronto Are) needs a break, and lower prices. Talk to your MPP's.
jeffrick
I've been to Mississauga - you have my deepest sympathies. I'm in Guelph.
Will: no gyration without funkstification.
Problems with this paradox:
1. No one knows if dragons actually "breathe fire." It could be that they were dinosaurs with an exceptionally bad case of halatosis.
2. Even assuming that dragons breathe fire, it would have been too troublesome for Noah to have taken adults, as that he could easily take eggs or infants which sap much less in the way of resources. It's unlikely infant dragons could breathe fire, anyway, even if the adults could.
3. IF dragons breathe fire, and IF a fire got started in this manner, then unless the dragons breathe greek fire Noah would have had plenty of water to put it out. Even if they breathed greek fire, Noah had several sons who could have urinated on it (the old solution for greek fire.)
Be honest. This has such large gaping holes in it that it isn't a "paradox." It's a rallying banner.
"Truth is the cry of all, but the game of the few." George Berkeley
"Truth is always strange — stranger than fiction." Lord Byron
Fixing the world, one dumb idea at a time.
I've been to Guelph - you have my deepest sympathies.
I always thought that town's name sounded too much like a Phil Foglio sound effect. Either that, or it should be 20 minutes' drive from Growf and Shazam.
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maybe if this sig is witty, someone will love me.