For Sapient, Rook, and other Science Geeks: Cats and Science

Hambydammit
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For Sapient, Rook, and other Science Geeks: Cats and Science


DamnDirtyApe
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 PETA better not get wind

 PETA better not get wind of the cat yodeling.  Tremendously amusing.


darth_josh
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Awesome.However, I still

Awesome.

However, I still have questions about cats.

1) What is the recommended daily allowance and nutritional value of cat?

2) We have seen pictures of cats with guns. Is there a value as a weapon of war other than ammunition for cats?

3) If we do eventually learn to herd cats then will we be allowed to put them up on the commodities markets?

4) How accurate are the results in this fun game

5) Is there any part of a cat that is unusable?

 

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Sapient
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darth_josh

darth_josh wrote:

Awesome.

However, I still have questions about cats.

1) What is the recommended daily allowance and nutritional value of cat?

Recommended daily allowance: 1-4

Nutritional value: relief of stress, companionship, love

Wait, you mean how many can you eat?

Quote:

2) We have seen pictures of cats with guns. Is there a value as a weapon of war other than ammunition for cats?

We've seen cats with guns?  As far as I know, only RRS Rambo Kitty carries a gun.   He is not formally trained for combat and gets distracted easily by duck hunt like training.  Rambo kitty often refuses to fire his gun as he doesn't like the kick the gun offers and instead uses his surgically implanted ginsu retractable claws as his weapon of choice.  His ability to sneak over enemy lines is his biggest benefit, offering a surprise attack not seen since little man and fat boy.   

 

Quote:
3) If we do eventually learn to herd cats then will we be allowed to put them up on the commodities markets?

Herding cats is actually not that difficult, however it seems as if cats will not be offered on the com markets for sometime, due in part to the fact that Rambo Kitty managed to infiltrate the corporate office and offer them a stern warning, thereby saving cats everywhere. 

Quote:
4) How accurate are the results in this fun game

I don't click links from strangers.

 

Quote:
5) Is there any part of a cat that is unusable?

No.  Even the claws can be ground down into your little witchs brew you appear to be pondering.   Don't forget to add hair from your wife, and the toes of your first born, if your looking for a good antidote for morality.

 

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Hambydammit
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Quote:2) We have seen

Quote:
2) We have seen pictures of cats with guns. Is there a value as a weapon of war other than ammunition for cats?

In addition to Sapient's fine explanation of my combat capabilities, it should be noted that the average housecat (with claws intact) can be lobbed, grenade-style, at an enemy.  They always land on their feet, you know.  If you aim for the eyes of your opponent, serious damage may occur.  It is highly recommended to take your cat-grenade straight out of the litter box for an added biological attack.  Granted, these are all munitions applications, but the beauty of lobbing cats is that after blinding their enemy, they can sneak away and perform further infiltration maneuvers.

 

 

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