Africa is the worst place in the world

Fire
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Africa is the worst place in the world


http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080422...nCpxCN.h4ADW7oF

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Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

By Joe Bavier
Tue Apr 22, 1:24 PM ET

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

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She turned me into a newt!

I guess we're supposed to respect this unique and beautiful culture.


Renee Obsidianwords
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Wow.So were these people

Wow.

So were these people hypnotized or something? "...in the count of 3, I will snap my fingers and you will awaken with no penis...'

They still had their ding dongs but were claiming that they were smaller? Perhaps they had never really 'looked' at how a flaccid penis looks? If the their penis completely disappeared, then THAT would be believable.

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Jacob Cordingley
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I think its just guys with

I think its just guys with small dicks trying to account for having small dicks...

"Yeah uhh... I did have a big dick... but... uhh... sorcerors stole it.


jmm
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Jacob Cordingley wrote:I

Jacob Cordingley wrote:

I think its just guys with small dicks trying to account for having small dicks...

"Yeah uhh... I did have a big dick... but... uhh... sorcerors stole it.

It's a hell of an excuse if nothing else.


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How much do you want to bet

How much do you want to bet that this is just a case of penis envy gone out of control?  I bet that all the "sorcerers" have big wangs.

Science. It works, bitches.

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jmm wrote:Jacob Cordingley

jmm wrote:

Jacob Cordingley wrote:

I think its just guys with small dicks trying to account for having small dicks...

"Yeah uhh... I did have a big dick... but... uhh... sorcerors stole it.

It's a hell of an excuse if nothing else.

Say guys,you'll never believe what happened today...

Loc'n'Load

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It would be funny if it

It would be funny if it wasn't for people getting killed over it. Imagine someone here going to the police station and reporting that! I can picture a one-man sketch with Bob Newhart playing the part of the detective...

 

"So you say he stole your penis? How did he do that, cut it off? Oh. It was magic was it? So how do you pee? Oh, it just got smaller. So do you have any pictures of it from before to prove this? I didn't think so. Did you try going to the doctor to ask if there was a non-magical reason? Oh, he was under the mind control of the sorcerer and said nothing was wrong. Ok let me file this and meanwhile I'm going to call some other detectives who know how to deal with this sort of thing. You'll notice them - they wear white coats and will have you wear a jacket with the sleves in the back while they're taking you to a special station...."

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If that happened in Europe

If that happened in Europe or something there might be need for concern, but I don't think Africans need to worry even if their penises do shrink a little bit, MIRITE?! Sticking out tongue

(Hope that doesn't offend anybody. I think it's a positive stereotype. I'd love people to be running around talking about how I have a huge penis because of my ancestry. :/)

 


HeyZeusCreaseToe
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Hahah

Penis theft...I love it. It makes me wonder what the hell is going on in that side of the world if those people can be so easily duped...oh wait we've been fighting a war built on false pretenses for 5 years, nevermind.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Yoda


Jacob Cordingley
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Loc wrote:jmm wrote:Jacob

Loc wrote:

jmm wrote:

Jacob Cordingley wrote:

I think its just guys with small dicks trying to account for having small dicks...

"Yeah uhh... I did have a big dick... but... uhh... sorcerors stole it.

It's a hell of an excuse if nothing else.

Say guys,you'll never believe what happened today...

Ha! What makes is funnier is that you're African. Seriously though, having a big dick ain't the be all and end all. I'm fairly comfortable with the size of my appendage, and it sure ain't the biggest in the world.


Loc
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Jacob Cordingley wrote:Ha!

Jacob Cordingley wrote:

Ha! What makes is funnier is that you're African

.

That was the idea

Jacob Cordingley wrote:

 I'm fairly comfortable with the size of my appendage, and it sure ain't the biggest in the world.

DO NOT post pics.

Loc'n'Load

Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible

dudeofthemoment wrote:
This is getting redudnant. My patience with the unteachable[atheists] is limited.


Jacob Cordingley
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Loc wrote:Jacob Cordingley

Loc wrote:

Jacob Cordingley wrote:

 I'm fairly comfortable with the size of my appendage, and it sure ain't the biggest in the world.

DO NOT post pics.

Damn, I even got the camera out and all!!!


HeyZeusCreaseToe
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Ha

This story made Countdown with Keith Olbermann with the police chief being the #1 best person in the world.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Yoda


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Renee Obsidianwords

Renee Obsidianwords wrote:

Wow.

So were these people hypnotized or something? "...in the count of 3, I will snap my fingers and you will awaken with no penis...'

They still had their ding dongs but were claiming that they were smaller? Perhaps they had never really 'looked' at how a flaccid penis looks? If the their penis completely disappeared, then THAT would be believable.

 

Its kinda hot to think of you saying "flaccid"... Just sayin


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Jacob Cordingley wrote:Damn,

Jacob Cordingley wrote:

Damn, I even got the camera out and all!!!

 

Don't most men in Britain and Europe have uncut  wieners ?  Yuck, foreskins make a penis look like it's wearing a hooded sweatshirt.

Not a pretty sight

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