Missing Pastor Found in Strip Club

MattShizzle
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Missing Pastor Found in Strip Club

I almost fell off my chair laughing when I read this

Missing N.Y. cleric found at strip club

Pastor, the focus of a nationwide search, was located in Riverside.

http://alt.coxnewsweb.com/cnishared/newsworthy/sharedoh/oh/story/news/local/2008/03/28/sharedoh_oh_story_news_local_2008_03_28_ddn... -->

 

 

By Valryn Warren

Staff Writer

Saturday, March 29, 2008

A pastor reported missing after he left his Lewiston, N.Y., home on Wednesday to go to Best Buy was found in a Riverside strip club 422 miles away on Friday, March 28.

A Riverside officer patrolling the lot at K.C. Lounge, 4766 Airway Road, at about 12:40 a.m. noticed an out-of-state license plate, according to reports. The officer discovered the owner, Craig S. Rhodenizer, 46, was listed as a missing and possibly endangered, and sought by the Niagara County Sheriff's Department and the FBI.

Rhodenizer, the pastor of St. John's Lutheran Church in Lyndonville, N.Y., told his wife he was going to get his computer fixed at Best Buy on Wednesday.

Rhodenizer was coherent when police approached him.

"He initially was very easy to talk to," Detective Matt Sturgeon said. "When he started to realize there was a nationwide search and this was serious, there was an instantaneous switch and he became extremely disoriented and confused."

He said he didn't know why he came to Riverside nor did he know anyone here. He then asked about his wife and son and said he didn't know what day it was. When medics asked if he felt any pain, he said he felt "emotionally guilty."

Sturgeon said Rhodenizer was taken to Grandview Hospital for a 48-hour psychiatric evaluation.

The report said Rhodenizer was in the club for two hours and drank three or four beers. One dancer said he paid for three or four private dances. She claimed he became verbally aggressive when he offered to pay her to return to his motel room with him and she refused.

She also said he wouldn't tell her where he was from, but did say he "hadn't been in a strip club for over 20 years and it was about time he was in one again."

Police contacted Rhodenizer's wife, Susan, and the Niagara County Sheriff's Department. The department asked Riverside officers to impound Rhodenizer's Toyota Camry and take possession of a computer, which was found with a bottle of Bacardi and an empty gallon bottle of gin.

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Hambydammit
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Quote:"He initially was very

Quote:
"He initially was very easy to talk to," Detective Matt Sturgeon said. "When he started to realize there was a nationwide search and this was serious, there was an instantaneous switch and he became extremely disoriented and confused."

Well, duh.  He realized what a shitstorm he'd caused and knew immediately that he better get his alibi going.

Quote:
Police contacted Rhodenizer's wife, Susan, and the Niagara County Sheriff's Department. The department asked Riverside officers to impound Rhodenizer's Toyota Camry and take possession of a computer, which was found with a bottle of Bacardi and an empty gallon bottle of gin.

Yeah, yeah.  They're going to find lots of pictures of naked women on his computer, and he's been a closet alcoholic for years.  They need to have their scapegoats just as much as he does.  The alcoholism and the porn are the problem!  Not the repressive religion or frigid wife or all the years of cognitive dissonance wearing on his brain.

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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HeyZeusCreaseToe
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Haha!

He was right though, 20 years is too long to stay away from strip clubs.

 


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You can take the strip club

You can take the strip club out of the Pastor but you can't take the Pastor out of the strip club.  Or something like that.

 

Good article Matt, thanks for the laugh.

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MattShizzle
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I wonder what excuse he's

I wonder what excuse he's going to give his wife and his congregation. I would love to see that. It had to have been a riot to see him go from perfectly coherent to out of it once he realized the shit he got himself into. Be funny if it was on MAD TV or something but the fact that it's a true story makes it funnier.

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Sapient
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MattShizzle wrote:I wonder

MattShizzle wrote:

I wonder what excuse he's going to give his wife and his congregation. I would love to see that.

Seems he's gonna go with the out of body amnesia sort of excuse.

 

Quote:
It had to have been a riot to see him go from perfectly coherent to out of it once he realized the shit he got himself into. Be funny if it was on MAD TV or something but the fact that it's a true story makes it funnier.

I need tape of that moment. 

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MattShizzle
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I'd be happy with a picture

I'd be happy with a picture of the expression on his face when he figured things out. What was he thinking? I'm guessing he was thinking with his little head instead of his big head. I think this is the funniest theism related story since the guy in Kiev who ran into the Lion cage.

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I laughed twice. Once at

I laughed twice.

 

Once at the story itself and again at the lame attempt to pin this on religion.


Hambydammit
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OH MY GOD!!! Guess what,

OH MY GOD!!!

 

Guess what, everybody?!  Cpt_Pineapple doesn't believe religion is to blame for this! 

 

 

 

Wow.  I am so surprised.  Thank you, Pineapple, for this revealing and critically acclaimed insight into your own belief system.

 

On the West Coast, this program will be immediately followed by a complete lack of interest.  On the East Coast, local news will follow.   Our Top Story:  Local Religious Nutjob Lets Daughter Die!

 

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You're missing your calling

You're missing your calling as a FBI agent/profiler my friend. You can analyze cases and criminals based on what you read in an article. 

 

P.S If you actually do become an agent, I moving out of Canada, since I'm near the U.S border.  I heard Barbados doesn't have cold winters.

 

 


Hambydammit
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Quote:You're missing your

Quote:
You're missing your calling as a FBI agent/profiler my friend. You can analyze cases and criminals based on what you read in an article.

Pardon me.  I forgot my obligatory disclaimer that no law enforcement action should be taken based on the content of my posts.  I'll try not to be so absent-minded in the future.

Quote:
P.S If you actually do become an agent, I moving out of Canada, since I'm near the U.S border.  I heard Barbados doesn't have cold winters.

Don't worry.  The FBI wouldn't have me.  I score way too low on the RWA scale.

 

 

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Cpt_pineapple
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Hambydammit wrote:Pardon

Hambydammit wrote:

Pardon me.  I forgot my obligatory disclaimer that no law enforcement action should be taken based on the content of my posts.  I'll try not to be so absent-minded in the future.

 

My point was that you have a wonderful talent in forensic psychology. Perhaps Law enforcement should consider your posts.

 

They would waste time looking into his alleged alcoholism and porn addiction, oh wait I forgot, those are scapegoats so why waste time looking into them?

 

 

Quote:

Don't worry.  The FBI wouldn't have me.  I score way too low on the RWA scale.

 

 

The RWA scale?


Hambydammit
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Quote:They would waste time

Quote:
They would waste time looking into his alleged alcoholism and porn addiction, oh wait I forgot, those are scapegoats so why waste time looking into them?

I would say I'm surprised you missed my point entirely, but you certainly know me better than that, right?

(hint) It wasn't the pastor I was profiling.

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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Cpt_pineapple
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Hambydammit wrote:Quote:They

Hambydammit wrote:

Quote:
They would waste time looking into his alleged alcoholism and porn addiction, oh wait I forgot, those are scapegoats so why waste time looking into them?

I would say I'm surprised you missed my point entirely, but you certainly know me better than that, right?

(hint) It wasn't the pastor I was profiling.

 

 

Wait a minute!!  Your posts makes sense now!!

 

But it begs the question:

 

 

 

 

Why would you want to profile MattShizzle?

 

 


jcgadfly
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Cpt_pineapple wrote:I

Cpt_pineapple wrote:

I laughed twice.

 

Once at the story itself and again at the lame attempt to pin this on religion.

Religion's not to blame - hypocrisy is.

Not our fault so many hypocrites happen to be church leaders.

"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin