God is a homosexual. And a serial rapist to boot!

Kevin R Brown
Superfan
Kevin R Brown's picture
Posts: 3142
Joined: 2007-06-24
User is offlineOffline
God is a homosexual. And a serial rapist to boot!

...So, I'm having a small discussion of a theological nature with a co-worker, and at sometime (after she's gone on about how 'undefinable' God is) I say,

"Well, geez. Why isn't God a 'Her', then? Why 'Him'? It seems odd than an entity otherwise devoid of understandable characteristics has a gender."

And then she says (...and I didn't even see this one coming. I swear!),

"Well, I feel Him in me. It's like that. Christians have felt Him in them, so we know He's a He. Jst like we know He loves us."

I started laughing a little bit. Then it built momentum, until it was all I could do to stay in my chair. This punk rock girl sitting at a nearby table, who must've been listening in, was laughing pretty hard too.

 

So, I'm ever so curious: that's how you know God's a Him? You've felt His mighty phallic presence within you? And that's how you know He loves you?

Quote:
"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940


The Doomed Soul
atheist
The Doomed Soul's picture
Posts: 2148
Joined: 2007-08-31
User is offlineOffline
Im just going to assume you

Im just going to assume you know that your title has spawned some very dirty, and highly disturbing ads...

 

>.<

 

That is all

What Would Kharn Do?


Kevin R Brown
Superfan
Kevin R Brown's picture
Posts: 3142
Joined: 2007-06-24
User is offlineOffline
...Huh? Oh, shit! The

...Huh?

 

Oh, shit! The fucking Google Ads!

I didn't realize they were that sensitive to a single phrase.

 

Oh, man, that's damn priceless! This is going to keep me laughing all night.

 

 

Quote:
"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940


EXC
atheist
EXC's picture
Posts: 3922
Joined: 2008-01-17
User is offlineOffline
God is a sadomasochist too!

Oh shit! More Google ads.

At least I'll like these ones.


Loc
Superfan
Loc's picture
Posts: 1130
Joined: 2007-11-06
User is offlineOffline
3 of the 5 adds on my page

3 of the 5 adds on my page involve 'gay'.BTW guys,did you know it's ok to be gay and christian?Click there for for info! Bet the priests are stoked to hear that...

Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible

dudeofthemoment wrote:
This is getting redudnant. My patience with the unteachable[atheists] is limited.

Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.


EXC
atheist
EXC's picture
Posts: 3922
Joined: 2008-01-17
User is offlineOffline
Loc wrote:BTW guys,did you

Loc wrote:

BTW guys,did you know it's ok to be gay and christian?

I think it's actually a requirement, either  that or asexual. Certainly can't have any men lusting over any woman.

 

Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen


BMcD
Posts: 777
Joined: 2006-12-20
User is offlineOffline
I rather liked:Quote:Chronic

I rather liked:

Quote:
Chronic Pain Hope! Apply Scripture to daily pain.

I just have to wonder... is that a topical cream made of godspoo and shredded bible pages, or a crumpled-page suppository?

Or do they just mean 'beat yourself over the head with a bible until you pass out! no more pain!'?

"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons." - The Waco Kid


Cali_Athiest2
Cali_Athiest2's picture
Posts: 440
Joined: 2008-02-07
User is offlineOffline
If god is a him, personally

If god is a him, personally I would and do call god an "it" myself, it must be have an incredibly huge dick. I mean, why be omni-potent and all-knowing with a little bitty penis? The christian/judeo/muslim god is engendered as a "he" to justify the treatment of women as second class citizens. If god is a "he" invariably it shows the superiority of the male gender over the female. He and she are merely terms applied to biological organisms, especially human beings.

If I would've heard that myself I think I would wet myself lol. Maybe god's just a chick with a strap on?

"Always seek out the truth, but avoid at all costs those that claim to have found it" ANONYMOUS


Milkshake89
Milkshake89's picture
Posts: 52
Joined: 2007-08-18
User is offlineOffline
When I was a child, I always

When I was a child, I always imagined God being a big woman in the sky, with big opened arms. And she was made of ice or something, and she wore this long robe. If I recall correctly, she was an asian woman. God didn't look too bad.


Religious_Rebel
Religious_Rebel's picture
Posts: 41
Joined: 2008-03-05
User is offlineOffline
ites

I enjoy the responses many get here, they're quite funny.

 

Anyways in response to the original poster (as I'd like to be serious) I've heard that the ancient Jewish civilizations referred to HaShem (meaning "the name", a word referring to God) as feminine instead of masculine, but I've never seen hard evidence on this fact besides hearing about a book someone wrote on the matter.  There are a few mentionings of God in a female context, for example calling God a hen who gathers her chicks under her wings, but mostly the Christian bible at least refers to God as a male.

Also, I'd wager that the young lady in question just had moments of clarity, and if she wants to contribute it to a holy presence who's to stop her if she's not becoming too deluded?  I'll probably hear an argument over that last sentence heh.

That is a rather funny quote. :P  If I were you though I would err on the side of caution when speaking of God in such a negative way; for a multitude of reasons. 

Personally I don't believe God to be male nor female, nor a mixture of the two, but independent from gender.  I am somewhat miffed by the taunting fashion you put forward though (no worries mate, in all honesty.)   I would advise being more compassionate towards us fervent, zealous believers just out of the sake of kindness though.  I'm with you all on challenging the slave mentality that organized religion puts forth, but using that kind of language for an individual's personal God (JAH in my case) just isn't thoughtful.  I'm not trying to be too critical, but rather just giving a little advice.

It is said the great ones catch teardrops in their hands.


I AM GOD AS YOU
Superfan
Posts: 4793
Joined: 2007-09-29
User is offlineOffline
   That's why excited

   That's why excited girl's say "OH GAWD,  OH GAWD,  DON'T STOP"  

.... "Put it inside me" is a another favorite of mine, Girls like me,  GOD !


Kevin R Brown
Superfan
Kevin R Brown's picture
Posts: 3142
Joined: 2007-06-24
User is offlineOffline
Quote:If I were you though I

Quote:
If I were you though I would err on the side of caution when speaking of God in such a negative way; for a multitude of reasons.

...Oh? Do enlighten me. I've already denied the existence of the Holy Spirit, so Hell's a sure thing for me already.

What else does God have in store if I refer to Her using negative terms? Will I be terribly smitten? Because, believe you me, I am ever so frightened.

Quote:
"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940


Religious_Rebel
Religious_Rebel's picture
Posts: 41
Joined: 2008-03-05
User is offlineOffline
Kevin R Brown wrote:Quote:If

Kevin R Brown wrote:

Quote:
If I were you though I would err on the side of caution when speaking of God in such a negative way; for a multitude of reasons.

...Oh? Do enlighten me. I've already denied the existence of the Holy Spirit, so Hell's a sure thing for me already.

What else does God have in store if I refer to Her using negative terms? Will I be terribly smitten? Because, believe you me, I am ever so frightened.

 

Oh no I wasn't talking only about God in that context.  (And I don't believe you're going to hell [assuming it exists.])  I was talking more about how what you said can be perceived as hate by many and cause troubles in that regard.   Many if not most people would react violently.  Besides from that I'd consider it morally wrong to insult others in such a fashion...  Too many problems in the world are caused by one group starting trouble, then trouble in the reaction by the other group.  A nasty cycle going back and forth that I'm sure you've seen.  I meant my comments mostly as respect for others.

Don't think I'm on a soap box or anything either, I'm just hoping that you won't insult anyone.  Also, I can see the atheist movement making this mistake when trying to spread their wisdom, so don't think I'm calling you out.  I see many/most of you here just want to stop the zealots and spread the notion of using your mind for ethics instead of a book that was written at a time when slavery was socially acceptable.  Anyways, using nasty language for what most consider the holiest of things is going to hurt your personal and group agenda.  

And just to re-emphasize what I said, I don't think anyone is going to hell just because they don't worship what is perceived to be invisible.  No worries there mate.   I just think it is wise to err on the side of caution when dealing with something so remarkably delicate.

It is said the great ones catch teardrops in their hands.


I AM GOD AS YOU
Superfan
Posts: 4793
Joined: 2007-09-29
User is offlineOffline
WISDOM ??? Buddha , what

WISDOM ??? Buddha ??? , what ever , it is damn cool , I have sent this Buddha angel so many times , and so here again ..... can anyone dsipute her ???  

Not I .....  

Wisdom of the Buddha 8 min,   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3wSL6Tbkl0

       I   l o v e   yeah .... whatever , AWAKE !