cut the fat.
the french, pioneers in cosmetic surgery, developed a device in 1792 capable of removing between 8 and 10 pounds from a patient in a matter of seconds. reportedly, many who partook in the procedure were perceived as kinder, more intelligent, and markedly less talkative. while the machine was primarily fashionable among powerful french figures from 1793 to 1794, recent speculation suggests substantial potential for a resurgence in modern america.
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"In depriving myself of the acorns... what have we learned? Nothing! Not one of us has learned!
"Which isn't my point, but very well could have been."
— Ashley Raymond, Olympia, 1989