Compliment others

Sapient's picture

I’ve learned a random life tip that has helped me a bit last month. My father in fact sent me an e-mail explaining his epiphany. He said that he had just learned that if you compliment someone when meeting them, they are more likely to like you. We both realize that the compliment should be genuine. 

Since he has given me the advice I have had many opportunities to utilize the tip. Using it at first felt a little foreign to me. That personality trait wouldn’t typically come up in my line of work as I would have typically felt the need to maintain a more professional and business oriented relationship with the people I deal with.    I have complimented around a dozen people in the last month and have had positive relationships each time. I had someone compliment me on Sunday and I could feel the effects of the compliment drug instantly. I’ll wait for a scientist to post an endorphin related explanation. I went from being cautious in a time interaction with someone to liking them in a matter of moments.   

The point? Complimenting people when you first meet them sounds like a good idea, if you mean it. It might not be in your personality type, but maybe it should be. If we all embraced these more positive qualities of humanity, and extend it to acts of service and goodwill we are more likely to have a positive future. 

It goes without saying that I have some readers on this site that embrace these ideas already.  

 

- Brian Sapient


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Answers in Gene Simmons's picture

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Too bad that Deluded God is no longer around. I am sure he could give us a twenty page essay on the matter. Even so, there is definitely a good deal of bonus to being nice to people in general.

 

The sooner you get a connection onto a positive footing, the easier everything should go. Against that, if you start off on a lower (or even adveresarial) note, then things will drag or even be automatically in a downward spiral right out the door.

 

I am not the kind of guy who hands out compliments in the first five seconds myself. That would seem like small talk to me and kind of fake. Still, being nice to people right out of the gate does tend to set a tone for the rest of what is to come.

 

 

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

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Wonderist's picture

Some people 'get' these

Some people 'get' these skills without even trying. I was not one of those people. I've since learned a lot, along the lines of what you're talking about Brian, and the first book that really brought these idea home to me in a way I could understand was How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.

Now, I know what most of you are probably thinking, "What a sleazy sounding book! Why would I want to read that?"

I know, because that is the exact reaction I had when I first heard of it. I was like, "Geez, you'd think the guy could have come up with a better title than that! And he thinks he knows how to influence people. Yeah, right." But for some strange reason, I kept hearing that it was a very good book. Still, I wasn't convinced.

Then, a friend of mine who I would say was probably the best people-person I've ever known (and not in any bad ways), gave me a copy of the book for a present. I didn't even open it for several months.

When I finally did, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my bias against the title was completely unfounded. Basically, the book was originally written in 1937 when "How to ..." self-help books were becoming popular, and at that time 'winning friends' and 'influencing people' did not have the kinds of negative connotations they do today. There are indeed some quaint notions from that time in the book, but they are by far the exception and not the rule.

Bottom line, I couldn't find anything actually sleazy at all about it, and instead found it packed with good, grounded advice along the lines of that posted in this blog.

For anyone looking to improve their interactions with people in general, without being fake about any of it, How to Win Friends and Influence People would be my #1 recommendation. There are lots of other books that go a step or three beyond it, but it is the best starting point, IMO.

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Brian37's picture

Brian, what is wrong with

Brian, what is wrong with you? You are an atheist. You're job is to insult everyone everywhere at every turn. I cant believe you. I should have known an Eagles fan would not make a good atheist. (Not looking forward to Sunday FYI), I bet you don't barbecue kittens. I thought I knew you.

 

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under BrianJames Rational Poet also on twitter under Brianrrs37

Sapient's picture

Brian37 wrote:Brian, what is

Brian37 wrote:

Brian, what is wrong with you? You are an atheist. You're job is to insult everyone everywhere at every turn. I cant believe you. I should have known an Eagles fan would not make a good atheist. (Not looking forward to Sunday FYI), I bet you don't barbecue kittens. I thought I knew you.

 

You joke because you know.  If there's a sad part of my original story it's that I feel the need to tell it at all so that people know the real me, not the perceived me that has arisen as a result of my hostility towards religion.  

 

- Brian Sapient


Buy popular atheist books and support the Rational Response Squad at the same time on Amazon.

Brian37's picture

You are a good guy. It's

You are a good guy. It's hard being rough on belief, not because we want to be, but because we have to be, at a minimum we can keep it in check.

I try really really hard, before I pull my fangs out to make it clear that I am not addressing the person, but what the person claims.

It is hard for believers to see outside our blasphemy we CAN LOVE and do love co-workers, family members and friends who do believe. It is hard because because we know we have to question religion despite any pain it may cause us.

The fact is in human history, that they don't see, it is the questioning, not the complacency dwelling in tradition "just because" that humans left the caves. It is because of that blasphemy and questioning that blacks are no longer slaves and women can vote. It is because of that questioning that we know now that the earth is not flat.

Now I just worry about the Eagles who are angry hornets who most likely will take their frustrations out on my Skins.

 

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under BrianJames Rational Poet also on twitter under Brianrrs37

Vastet's picture

*Patiently awaiting a new

*Patiently awaiting a new exc rant*

Proud Canadian, Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.

Answers in Gene Simmons's picture

^^what he said^^

^^what he said^^

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

=

ex-minister's picture

 Well, it as Jesus told us

 Well, it as Jesus told us to have a grateful and joyful heart.

 

Romans 12:9 wrote:

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 

 

Proverbs 15:1 wrote:
 

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.

 

 

Luke 6:27-31 wrote:
 

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

 

Religion Kills !!!

Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/