It is difficult to avoid an us/them mentality sometimes, but I think we have to try if for no other reason than that it is not productive. As you have noted, the whole faith thing exists along a continuum from deist to fundamentalist, so certainly all theists cannot be held in the same category. I've talked to some anarchic atheists that I wouldn't want at my kid's birthday party and some moderate priests that are highly worth listening to. So for the purposes of deciding who you are going to associate with or respect, I don't think the atheist/theist distinction should carry all that much weight.

Remember, we still don't know whether faith is a self-replicating mind virus that infects the brains of those who lack resistance in much the same way as a virus infects other organs. If this is indeed the case (and we need research to determine if it is), then holding people who have faith in contempt would be much the same as having those same attitudes toward cancer victims.

Also recall that many people have rational grounds for holding faith even though their faith itself cannot be justified rationally. Their church is an important part of their life, worship gives them comfort, they get great networking etc etc. They are like a buddy who is in love with a woman that you know is wrong for him. Yes, he is getting laid, and that is a rational goal, but why can't he find a better way to do it?  Ultimately, I think we have to give way to the idea that people are just different and c'est la vie.

Now, when they start to push their shit in the public square, that is another matter...