Butterbattle's Cooking Corner!

butterbattle's picture

Well now.....this feels very awkward. How do I even begin this post? 

Um, so as you all know, I'm butterbattle (pst, not my real name).

I love food: sushi, curry, pork ribs, McDonald's, squid ink pasta, blood pudding, fried crickets, anything and everything. I like to think that I have an extremely wide palate and have eaten far more types of food in far more countries than my fair share. However, even though I love food, I don't know how to cook, which is a sad sad thing. I have identified two main reasons for this. 1) My parents never taught me how to cook. When I was younger, I felt bad that I never learned enough from my parents. As I got older though, I realized that they never made much of an effort to teach me things. Also, I gradually discovered that my mom is actually pretty shitty at cooking.  2) I've never had my own kitchen as an adult. I'm in the military, and I've been mostly living in the barracks up to this point.

But, a few weeks ago, I moved into my own apartment, and, for the first time ever, I have my own kitchen and a comfortable paycheck. Ergo, no more excuses; I can't just blame shit on my parents. I'm going to start cooking.

But....I'm still single at the moment, and there's no one to cook for except myself (). I'm planning on feeding my co-workers once in a while as a form of motivation. I'm still worried though; I sense that it's not going to be enough. My personality type dictates that I get bored with projects easily. If I simply start cooking, I suspect I'll lose motivation after about a month, and I really really don't want to let myself do that.

Tada! That's where this blog comes in. I'm going to TRY to use this blog to get myself to continue cooking. At first, I considered doing this on facebook, but then I was like.....no, I don't want everyone I know to know about it (*cough* parents *cough*). Then, I thought about starting my own blog, and I was like.....ugh.... You know what they say about blogs: "Never before have so many said so little of substance to so few." Lol. Anyways, in a weird way I feel indebted to this website too. This was like my primary source during the years that I truly developed my current worldview, so everything I believe about religion, politics, morality, etc., was to some extent, supported by or derived from what I wrote or read on this website in the last 7 years. Of course, mostly likely, my worldview would've developed in about the same direction regardless of whether I had run into this forum or not. But, the fact remains that I DID run into this forum. Now, this site is not active as it used to be, and I'm one of only a few currently active moderators. I feel like I should be doing more to try to keep the forum active. But, I don't have the same fiery desire to argue with people like I used to (someone's wrong on the Internet!!!), and even if I did, the Christians don't dogpile our mailbox anymore (I guess they no longer care if people go to hell). So, maybe this will help. Even if nobody reads it and it doesn't help the forum, it'll be soothing and motivating for me to write it.

It does feel a little weird to start a series that has nothing to do with.....Rationally Responding. But, in hindsight, these kinds of forums were never only about arguing; it was about building a community. Either way, I'm sure much lower quality irrelevant things have been posted in the past, and Brian has that poem thread, so surely, there's nothing wrong with me doing this.

So......welcome to butterbattle's cooking corner!

 

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare

Vastet's picture

I'm not a master chef

I'm not a master chef trained since birth by the most awesome chefs known to man, but I consider myself to be a good cook. I'm comfortable enough with some parts of cooking to fiddle with recipies and create my own stuff.

So if you want any pointers to make it easier or help you out, feel free to ask.

Beyond probably would be willing to help too.

The best thing I can offer to start you off is to get used to cooking for yourself. No more fast food or delivery or restaurants for awhile. Unless maybe you accidentally destroy your dinner. It'll be easier to motivate yourself to cook something when your stomach is yelling at you. You just have to get passed the eating out mentality.

Proud Canadian, Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.

Beyond Saving's picture

I love cooking, it is very

I love cooking, it is very relaxing for me. As the youngest by many years, my parents were both in the prime of their careers when I was a teenager, so it was learn how to cook or go hungry. Since then, I've become a bit of a foodie and the only thing keeping me under 200 pounds is winning the genetic lottery.

It is probably best that you don't have anyone living with you, to spare the embarrassment of a terrible meal, cause it is going to happen. I remember one time I decided to make stuffed french toast for my mother on her birthday, so I whipped up my egg mixture, dipped the bread, put preserves on a slice, laid another slice on top and threw it on the grill. By now, if you've realized what went wrong, you have me beat by about two minutes. When my dumb ass realized that the egg in the middle wasn't going to cook with the outside. So my genius fix was to just cook it longer. The result was burned eggs on the outside and a mushy, unholy blend of raw egg, preserves and slimy bread in the middle. Whenever I cook for her to this day she loves to have a laugh at my expense. I still occassionally cook something that even my dog won't eat, just comes with the territory. 

As for getting started, spending some time on youtube learning proper knife techniques would be a great idea to save both time and your fingers. You might want to check out Good Eats, it is the only cooking show that has a practical use imo, Alton explains the chemistry as to why things work, which helps if you need to make substitutions. Which since you probably don't have a large pantry, improv will be a needed. Also he has great ideas for building cheap contraptions to substitute for limited use appliances. 

Good luck, I promise to only laugh with you at any kitchen disasters you decide to share. 

If, if a white man puts his arm around me voluntarily, that's brotherhood. But if you - if you hold a gun on him and make him embrace me and pretend to be friendly or brotherly toward me, then that's not brotherhood, that's hypocrisy.- Malcolm X

iwbiek's picture

i'm a pretty fair hand at

i'm a pretty fair hand at cooking indian, if you ever want advice about that. i toast and blend my own spice mixtures. nothing to it really. also i make a mean thai green curry, though i admit to buying (quality) paste, since galangal is unavailable here and cilantro is pretty scarce.

"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson

Beyond Saving's picture

iwbiek wrote:i'm a pretty

iwbiek wrote:
i'm a pretty fair hand at cooking indian, if you ever want advice about that. i toast and blend my own spice mixtures. nothing to it really. also i make a mean thai green curry, though i admit to buying (quality) paste, since galangal is unavailable here and cilantro is pretty scarce.

The thing I miss most from my marriage is that a good number of my exwife's clients were Indian and we frequently were invited over for dinner. My Indian cooking isn't half as good as some of theirs. Set me up with fresh naan, paneer curry and a bottle of gin or a good cab and I'm a happy guy.

If, if a white man puts his arm around me voluntarily, that's brotherhood. But if you - if you hold a gun on him and make him embrace me and pretend to be friendly or brotherly toward me, then that's not brotherhood, that's hypocrisy.- Malcolm X

ProzacDeathWish's picture

   I don't really know

 

  I don't really know much about cooking or how best to prepare meals.  I do put forth a lot of effort when it comes to eating, though.

Patrick is an edgy edgelord.

butterbattle's picture

Thanks guys.Vastet wrote:The

Thanks guys.

Vastet wrote:
The best thing I can offer to start you off is to get used to cooking for yourself. No more fast food or delivery or restaurants for awhile.

Hey now, I got to keep my goals realistic. Lol.

 

 

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare