Your favorite anti-religious quotes

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Your favorite anti-religious quotes

In 2006 a member posted a thread on our message board to ask other atheists about favorite quotes that are anti-religious.  The first post of this thread has been edited, to compile most of these atheist quotes in one place.  Some of these quotes can be found at Celebatheists.com.  This page is on stumbleupon.com, please click "thumbs up." This page is on Reddit, please click the up arrow!

 

"Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned" - Mark Twain

"Faith is believing in that which I know ain't so." - Mark Twain

"The hands that help are better far than lips that pray." Robert Green Ingersoll

"Nothing could be more idiotic and absurd than the doctrine of the trinity." Robert Green Ingersoll

"Fear paints pictures of ghosts and hangs them in the gallery of ignorance." Robert Green Ingersoll

"Nothing could be more idiotic and absurd than the doctrine of the trinity." Robert Green Ingersoll

(paraphrase) - "If God objected to [people with various handicaps], he ought not have created such people." Robert G Ingersoll

"All thinking men are atheists." - Ernest Hemmingway

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Mohandas Gandhi

"Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time." - Dennis Miller

Annie Dillard:
Eskimo:"If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"

"Religion is the most malevolent of all mind viruses." - Arthur C. Clarke 

"Without religion, we'd have good people doing good things, and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion." Stephen Weinburg

 ""Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear. " Thomas Jefferson

"Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legislative powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between church and State." Thomas Jefferson

"To talk of immaterial existences is to talk of nothings. To say that the human soul, angels, god, are immaterial, is to say they are nothings, or that there is no god, no angels, no soul. I cannot reason otherwise: but I believe I am supported in my creed of materialism by Locke, Tracy, and Stewart. At what age of the Christian church this heresy of immaterialism, this masked atheism, crept in, I do not know. But heresy it certainly is." Thomas Jefferson

"And the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerve in the brain of Jupiter." Thomas Jefferson

"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point." - Friederich Nietzsche

"The word "Christianity" is already a misunderstanding - in reality there has been only one Christian, and he died on the Cross."  Friederich Nietzsche

"The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad."  Friederich Nietzsche

"There is not enough love and kindness in the world to give any of it away to imaginary beings." - Friederich Nietzsche

"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan

"This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it." - John Adams

"The world holds two classes of men - intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence." - Abu Ala Al-Maari

"Creationists make it sound like a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night." - Isaac Asimov

"So far as religion of the day is concerned, it is a damned fake. Religion is all bunk." - Thomas Alva Edison

"I am myself a dissenter from all known religions, and I hope that every kind of religious belief will die out." - Bertrand Russell

"I do not believe any type of religion should ever be introduced into the public schools of the United States." - Thomas Alva Edison

"Tell me there is a God in the serene heavens that will damn his children for the expression of an honest belief! More men have died in their sins, judged by your orthodox creeds, than there are leaves in all the forests in the wide world ten thousand times over. Tell me these men are in Hell; that these men are in torment; that these children are in eternal pain, and that they are to be punished forever and forever! I denounce this doctrine as the most infamous of lies." - Robert G. Ingersoll

"The Christian god can easily be pictured as virtually the same god as the many ancient gods of past civilizations. The Christian god is a three headed monster; cruel, vengeful and capricious. If one wishes to know more of this raging, three headed beast-like god, one only needs to look at the caliber of people who say they serve him. They are always of two classes: fools and hypocrites." - Thomas Jefferson

"Religion is "so absurd that it comes close to imbecility." - H. L. Mencken

"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration--courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, above all, love of the truth."- H. L. Mencken

". Religions vary in their degree of idiocy, but I reject them all. For most people, religion is nothing more than a substitute for a malfunctioning brain." - Gene Roddenberry

"If God has spoken, why is the world not convinced?" - Percy Bysshe Shelley

"It is easier to suppose that the universe has existed for all eternity than to conceive a being beyond its limits capable of creating it." - Percy Bysshe Shelley

"Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd and bloody religion that has ever infected the world." - Voltaire

"Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be." - Frank Zappa 

"To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me." - Charles William Stubbs

"For there is nothing either good or bad, thinking makes it so." - William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Hamlet, II.ii

"Faith: not wanting to know what is true." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"The being we call god is merely a pawn working for a powerful and rational force in some far-off galaxy. This force is trying to weed out people who are irrational by seeing who would be stupid enough to believe in his god illusion so easily. Those that believe in this illusion, he will send to eternal damnation and he will deliver the rational beings, those who stoically refused to believe in a god, to heaven." - Nicholas Yee

"God for you is where you sweep away all the mysteries of the world, all the challenges to our intelligence. You simply turn your mind off and say God did it." - Carl Sagan (1934-1996), Contact

"Religions are all alike - founded upon fables and mythologies." --Thomas Jefferson

"It's fair to say that the Bible contains equal amounts of fact, history, and pizza." --Penn Jillette

"I don't see any god up here" - Yuri Gagarin - first man in space, while in space.

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

We need more understanding of human nature, because
the only real danger that exists is man himself.
- Carl Gustav Jung

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. - Susan B. Anthony

If the gods listened to the prayers of men, all humankind would quickly perish since they constantly pray for many evils to befall one another. - Epicurus

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God? - Epicurus

God Himself, sir, does not propose to judge a man until his life is over. Why should you and I? - Samuel Johnson

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo

To judge from the notions expounded by theologians, one must conclude that God created most men simply with a view to crowding hell. - Marquis De Sade

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. - Voltaire

God is the great mysterious motivator of what we call nature and it has been said often by philosophers, that nature is the will of God
. And, I prefer to say that nature is the only body of God that we shall ever see.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
- Robert Frost

To know a person's religion we need not listen to his profession of faith but must find his brand of intolerance. - Eric Hoffer

If I were personally to define religion, I would say that it is a bandage that man has invented to protect a soul made bloody by circustance. - Theodore Dreiser

A country dominated by televangelism would be unrecognizable to the Founding Fathers, who envisioned religion as personal and spiritua, not social and political. No particular variety of religion was intended to control the political agenda, to set the community's moral tone or to judge who are the true believers and members of our society. But this is precisely the objective of the electric church - Razelle Frankel

My faith is that the only soul a man must save is his own. - William Orville Douglas

England has forty-two religions and only two sauces. - Voltaire

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car. - Laurence J. Peter

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability. - Oscar Wilde

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? - Art Hoppe

"Since no one really knows anything about God, those who think they do are just troublemakers." Rabia Al-Basri

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. - Socrates.

"I refuse to prove that I exist" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing."  "Oh," says man, "but the Babel Fish is a dead give-away, isn't it?  It proves You exist, and so therefore You don't.  Q.E.D."  "Oh, I hadn't thought of that," says God, who promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.  ~ Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Moral:  a peerless maxim enumerated by God in his Holy Bible, such as that of Deut. 23:1, if your testicles are crushed or your male member missing, you must never enter a sanctuary of the Lord.  ~ Donald Morgan

There is a story, which is fairly well known, about when the missionaries came to Africa.  They had the Bible and we, the natives, had the land.  They said "Let us pray," and we dutifully shut our eyes.  When we opened them, why, they now had the land and we had the Bible.  ~Desmond M. Tutu, "Religious Human Rights and the Bible"

Religion:  A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.  ~ Ambrose Bierce

I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do.  ~ D. Dale Gulledge

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope?  If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't.  ~ George Bernard Shaw

The world is not a prison house but a kind of spiritual kindergarten where millions of bewildered infants are trying to spell God with the wrong blocks.  ~Edwin Arlington Robinson

The god who is reputed to have created fleas to keep dogs from moping over their situation must also have created fundamentalists to keep rationalists from getting flabby.  Let us be duly thankful for out blessings. ~Garrett Hardin

Sunday school:  a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.  ~H.L. Mencken

If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words.  I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul.  ~Isaac Asimov, I.  Asimov:  A Memoir

"There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over." - Frank Zappa.

"How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!" - Bill Hicks.

""I'm proud to be an atheist - it helps me stand for so much more and fall for so much less." - Dan Barker

"All religions have been made by men." - Napoleon Bonaparte

"But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?" - Mark Twain

"We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." - Richard Dawkins

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beutiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" - Douglas Adams

"We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the same sense to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beutiful and his children smart." - H.L. Mencken

"One cannot really be a Catholic and grown up." - George Orwell

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect, had intended for us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei

 "Atheism is a requirement for a complete human being. Religion is a crutch that is shackled to you, one you never really needed in the first place, but were convinced by others that you couldn't live without. Once you discover it's only an illusion, that it's not even a real crutch, you discard it gladly." -Brent Yaciw

"If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion.” --Edmond de Goncourt

"The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike." --Huang Po

"Faith is a cop-out. It is intellectual bankruptcy. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits." --Dan Barker, former evangelist

"Atheism is not a philosophy; it is not even a view of the world; it is simply an admission of the obvious. In fact, 'atheist' is a term that should not ever exist. No one ever needs to identify himself as a 'non astrologer' or a 'non-alchemist'. We do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive or that aliens traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and their cattle. Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make in the presence of unjustified religious beliefs. An atheist is simply a person who believes that the 260 million Americans (87 percent of the population) claiming to 'never doubt the existence of God' should be obliged to present evidence for his existence-and, indeed, for his BENEVOLENCE, given the relentless destruction of innocent human beings we witness in the world each day." --Sam Harris, "Letter to a Christian Nation"

"Religion is the opium of the masses." Karl Marx

Heaven will be a great place as long as you keep the christians out. - G. Janus

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest"  - Denis Diderot.

Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet”  –Napoleon Bonaparte

“Hence today I believe I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator” –Adolph Hitler

“I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job.” –George W. Bush

"Let's face it; God has an ego problem, why do we always have to worship him? "- Bill Maher

"I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians." - Bill Maher

"I would never want to be the member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood." - George Carlin"

"I have as much authority as the pope, I just don't have as many people that believe it." George Carlin

"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert Heinlein

"History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it." - Robert Heinlein

If we go back to the beginning we shall find that ignorance and fear created the gods; that fancy, enthusiasm, or deceit adorned or disfigured them; that weakness worships them; that credulity preserves them, and that custom, respect and tyranny support them in order to make the blindness of men serve its own interests. -- Baron d'Holbach, The System of Nature 

Nature, you say, is totally inexplicable without a God. That is to say, to explain what you understand very little, you have need of a cause which you understand not at all. -- Baron d'Holbach, Good Sense

Few intelligent Christians can still hold to the idea that the Bible is an infallible Book, that it contains no linguistic errors, no historical discrepancies, no antiquated scientific assumptions, not even bad ethical standards. Historical investigation and literary criticism have taken the magic out of the Bible and have made it a composite human book, written by many hands in different ages. The existence of thousands of variations of texts makes it impossible to hold the doctrine of a book verbally infallible. Some might claim for the original copies of the Bible an infallible character, but this view only begs the question and makes such Christian apologetics more ridiculous in the eyes of the sincere man. -- Elmer Homrighausen, Christianity in America

I recall the story of the philosopher and the theologian. The two were engaged in disputation and the theologian used the old quip about a philosopher resembling a blind man, in a dark room, looking for a black cat—which wasn't there. "That may be," said the philosopher: "but a theologian would have found it." -- Julian Huxley, The Creed of a Scientific Humanist

"Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do.. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ..But He loves you." - George Carlin 

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell

"I'd rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief." Gerry Spencer

"We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us" Samuel Johnson

"Believe one who has proved it.  Believe an expert." Virgil

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit attrocities." Voltaire

"Such evil deeds could religion prompt" Lucretius

"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness" Joseph Conrad

"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfullly as when they do it from a religious conviction" Blaise Pascale 

"When one person suffers from delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion, it is called Religion."

"The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully."--Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion, ch. 2.

"The study of theology,  as it stands in Christian churches, is the study of nothing; it is founded on nothing; it rests on nothing; it proceeds by no authorities; it has no data; it can demonstrate nothing."--Thomas Paine, in The Age Of Reason, quoted with approval by David Mills in Atheist Universe, ch. 6. 

"The moment we admit that our beliefs are attempts to represent states of the world, we see that they must stand in right relation to the world to be valid." --Sam Harris, The End Of Faith

"Urging humans to be superhumans, on pain of death and torture, is the urging of terrible self-abasement at their repeated and inevitable failure to keep the rules."--Christopher Hitchens, god is not great, ch. 15.

"Imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'This is an interesting world I find my self in - an interesting hole I find my self in - fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!' This is such a powerful idea that as the sun rises in the sky and the air heats up and as, gradually, the puddle gets smaller and smaller, it's still frantically hanging on to the notion that everything's going to be alright, because this world was meant to have him in it, was built to have him in it; so the moment he disappears catches him rather by surprise. I think this may be something we need to be on the watch out for." - Douglass Adams

"Find me some ghost sperm and show me how one survives rigor mortis and I will become a believer. I'm sure you'll have that evidence in short order" - Brian 37

"don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't. - Jules Renard

The Bible is a book that has been read more, and examined less, than any book that ever existed. - Thomas Paine [one of my personal faves]

We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing/ all-powerful God, who creates faulty humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes. - Gene Roddenberry

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. - Anonymous

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. - Richard Dawkins

All the biblical miracles will at last disappear with the progress of science. - Matthew Arnold 

As far as I can tell from studying the scriptures, all you do in heaven is pretty much just sit around all day and praise the Lord. I don’t know about you, but I think that after the first, oh, I don’t know, 50,000,000 years of that I’d start to get a little bored. - Rick Reynolds

A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it. - David Stevens

Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a God superior to themselves. Most Gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child. - Robert A Heinlein

He that will not reason is a bigot; he that cannot reason is a fool; he that dares not reason is a slave. - William Drummond

Religion does three things quite effectively: Divides people, Controls people, Deludes people. - Carlespie Mary Alice McKinney

“There are no atheists in foxholes” isn’t an argument against atheism, it’s an argument against foxholes. - James Morrow

Properly read, the bible is the most potent force for Atheism ever conceived. - Isaac Asimov

Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. - Frater Ravus

If god is the alpha and the omega. The begining and the end, knows what has passed and what is to come, like it states in the bible, why do people pray and think it will make any difference. - Mark Fairclough

If we expect God to subscribe to one religion at the exclusion of all the others, then we should expect damnation as a matter of chance. This should give Christians pause when expounding their religious beliefs, but it does not. - Sam Harris 

"We would be 1,500 years ahead if it hadn't been for the church dragging science back by its coattails and burning our best minds at the stake." - Catherine Fahringer

A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes - James K. Feibleman

Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning. - Bill Gates

All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit. - Thomas Paine

"Everything is what it is because it got that way." -D'arcy Thompson

"We may conclude, therefore, that, in all nations, which have embraced polytheism, the first ideas of religion arose not from a contemplation of the works of nature, but from a concern with regard to the events of life, and from the incessant hopes and fears, which actuate the human mind." -Hume, The Natural History of Religion

"We find human faces in the moon, armies in the clouds; and by a natural propensity, if not corrected by experience and reflection, ascribe malice and good-will to every thing, that hurts or pleases us."--Hume, TNHR

"You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time." --Abraham Lincoln

"Those to whom his word was revealed were always alone in some remote place, like Moses. There wasn't anyone else around when Mohammed got the word either. Mormon Joseph Smith and Christian Scientist, Mary Baker Eddy, had exclusive audiences with God. We have to trust them as reporters---and you know how reporters are. They'll do anything for a story." --Andy Rooney 

"Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy." - Ambroce Bierce

In a dangerous world, there will always be more people around whose prayers for their own safety have been answered than those whose prayers have not." -Nicholas Humphrey's Law of the Efficacy of Prayer

"Cults and prophets proclaiming the imminent end of the world have been with us for several millenia, and it has been another sour sort of fun to ridicule them the morning after, when they discover that their calculations were a little off. But, just as with Marxists, there are some among them who are working hard to 'hasten the inevitable,' not merely anticipating the End Days with joy in their hearts, but taking political action to bring about the conditions they think are the prerequisites for that occasion." -Dennett, Breaking the Spell, pg 338

When people thought the earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the earth was spherical, they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together. -- Isaac Asimov

From the point of view of a tapeworm, man was created by God to serve the appetite of the tapeworm. -- Edward Abbey

Truth does not demand belief. Scientists do not join hands every Sunday, singing, "Yes, gravity is real! I will have faith! I will be strong! I believe in my heart that what goes up, up, up must come down, down, down. Amen!" If they did, we would think they were pretty insecure about it. -- Dan Barker

Faith is the fatigue resulting from the attempt to preserve God's integrity instead of one's own. -- Matt Berry

As the caterpillar chooses the fairest leaves to lay her eggs on, so the priest lays his curse on the fairest joys. -- William Blake

"Religion is not fate, religion is fake, spirituality comes from the heart not from the pages of some out dated book written by mere men" -Madd Maxxx

"Religion is a group of scam artists that sell the calming idea that your body is a temple of God, while your mind belongs to them." -Jose Carrillo

Creationists make it sound like a ‘theory’ is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night — Isaac Asimov

All thinking men are atheists. — Ernest Hemingway

Lighthouses are more helpful then churches. — Benjamin Franklin

Faith means not wanting to know what is true. — Friedrich Nietzsche

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. — George Bernard Shaw

Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile. — Kurt Vonnegut

A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows. — Samuel Clemens

The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church. — Ferdinand Magellan

"Let's face a historical truth: we have never had a "free market", we have always had government intervention in the economy, and indeed that intervention has been welcomed by the captains of finance and industry. They had no quarrel with "big government" when it served their needs." - Howard Zinn

"This would be the best of all possible worlds if there were no religion in it." - John Adams

"Lighthouses are more useful than Churches." - Benjamin Franklin

"Chritianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man." - Thomas Jefferson

"Religion can never reform mankind, because Religion is slavery." - Robert G. Ingersoll

"Religions are all alike - founded upon fables and mythologies. - Thomas Jefferson

"Religion is the opium of the masses." - Karl Marx

"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."

"How come when it's us is an abortion and when it's a chicken is an omelet?" - George Carlin

" Why is it often that, when someone points out the lies of another person, the person who lied gets angry, rather than abashed. Never is this more apparent than when the lie pointed out is a lie to oneself, and the anger never more fierce than when the lie is one of religion." ~ G. Scott Wells

"If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people" - Gregory House

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'Oh, Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' and God granted it." - Voltaire

"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein

"When you understand why you don't believe in other people's gods, you will understand why I don't believe in yours."- Albert Einstein

"Just because you believe in something does not mean that it is true."- Albert Einstein

"Blind belief in authority is the greatest enemy of truth." - Albert Einstein

"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed." - Albert Einstein

"I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotisms." - Albert Einstein

"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can change this." - Albert Einstein

"It seems to me that the idea of a personal God is an anthropological concept which I cannot take seriously. I also cannot imagine some will or goal outside the human sphere... Science has been charged with undermining morality, but the charge is unjust. A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death." - Albert Einstein

"If we are to believe the Bible, god created a flood that nearly wiped out all of mankind, taking genocide to epic proportions. Why then is god worshiped and Hitler, who committed genocide on a smaller scale, labeled evil for similar acts?" - Scott Williams 

ALSO SEE: "Positive Atheism's Big List of Quotations"  

http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/qframe.htm

And another: http://www.quotedb.com/categories/anti-religion

Keywords for this post: atheist atheism agnostic science history religion god non-believer skeptic humanist 


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Favorite Anti- Religious Quotes

Mohandas Gandhi
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

Dennis Miller
Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

Annie Dillard
Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"

Arthur C. Clarke
"Religion is the most malevolent of all mind viruses." (18th February 2004, The Onion AV Club interview.)


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"Without religion, we'd have

"Without religion, we'd have good people doing good things, and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."

I think it was Dawkins, but he might have been quoting someone else, I don't recall off hand.


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It was Stephen Weinberg.

It was Stephen Weinberg.


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Thanks. I guess I could have

Thanks. I guess I could have found that by punching the quote into google, now that I think of it. Oh well Eye-wink

Another good quote is, "We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."

And that one was Dawkins.


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Actually, that one is very

Actually, that one is very old. Dan Barker mentioned it in Losing Faith in Faith (1992)


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I am a big fan of Thomas

I am a big fan of Thomas Jefferson's religious statements.

here is one.

"Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear. "

Thomas Jefferson

This is perhaps the most important statement on religion ever made. It clarified the intent of the founders of the constitution irrespective of the attempts of modern day religious revisionists...

"Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legislative powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between church and State."

-Thomas Jefferson, letter to Danbury Baptist Association, CT., Jan. 1, 1802

another keeper.....

"To talk of immaterial existences is to talk of nothings. To say that the human soul, angels, god, are immaterial, is to say they are nothings, or that there is no god, no angels, no soul. I cannot reason otherwise: but I believe I am supported in my creed of materialism by Locke, Tracy, and Stewart. At what age of the Christian church this heresy of immaterialism, this masked atheism, crept in, I do not know. But heresy it certainly is."

-Thomas Jefferson, letter to John Adams

another great one...

"And the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerve in the brain of Jupiter."

-Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Adams, April 11, 1823

How did Jefferson feel about the people of his day who were the equivalent of our modern day penecostals? You know, those revelation reveling tongue speaking idiots...

It is between fifty and sixty years since I read the Apocalypse, and I then considered it merely the ravings of a maniac, no more worthy, nor capable of explanation than the incoherences of our own nightly dreams.... what has no meaning admits no explanation.
-- Thomas Jefferson, to Alexander Smyth, January 17, 1825

There are many many more and each one is more profound than the next.


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I'm disheartened that no one

I'm disheartened that no one has quoted Nietzsche yet.

"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point."

"The word "Christianity" is already a misunderstanding - in reality there has been only one Christian, and he died on the Cross."

"The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad."

- Friederich Nietzsche


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I was going to put my

I was going to put my favorite Nietzsche quote, but I use it so often that I didn't want to drudge it up again. But he also says;

"There is not enough love and kindness in the world to give any of it away to imaginary beings."

I have that on the back of my car. I like to watch people's reaction in my rear-view mirror when they read it.

Shaun

I'll fight for a person's right to speak so long as that person will, in return, fight to allow me to challenge their opinions and ridicule them as the content of their ideas merit.


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MattShizzle wrote:Actually,

MattShizzle wrote:
Actually, that one is very old. Dan Barker mentioned it in Losing Faith in Faith (1992)

Thats funny. I actually did google that and found it attributed to Dawkins. *shrug* I guess I can't win.


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"It is far better to grasp

"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan

I feel like this quote is a good response to those who aren't very religious and believe in things like heaven just because they like the idea.

"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan


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"Fear paints pictures of

"Fear paints pictures of ghosts and hangs them in the gallery of ignorance."

"Nothing could be more idiotic and absurd than the doctrine of the trinity."

(paraphrase) - "If God objected to [people with various handicaps], he ought not have created such people."
Robert G Ingersoll

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Here's my favorite

Here are my favorite anti-religious quotes:

"This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it." - John Adams

"The world holds two classes of men - intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence." - Abu Ala Al-Maari

"Creationists make it sound like a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night." - Isaac Asimov

"So far as religion of the day is concerned, it is a damned fake. Religion is all bunk." - Thomas Alva Edison

"I am myself a dissenter from all known religions, and I hope that every kind of religious belief will die out." - Bertrand Russell

"I do not believe any type of religion should ever be introduced into the public schools of the United States." - Thomas Alva Edison

"Tell me there is a God in the serene heavens that will damn his children for the expression of an honest belief! More men have died in their sins, judged by your orthodox creeds, than there are leaves in all the forests in the wide world ten thousand times over. Tell me these men are in Hell; that these men are in torment; that these children are in eternal pain, and that they are to be punished forever and forever! I denounce this doctrine as the most infamous of lies." - Robert G. Ingersoll

"The Christian god can easily be pictured as virtually the same god as the many ancient gods of past civilizations. The Christian god is a three headed monster; cruel, vengeful and capricious. If one wishes to know more of this raging, three headed beast-like god, one only needs to look at the caliber of people who say they serve him. They are always of two classes: fools and hypocrites." - Thomas Jefferson

"Religion is "so absurd that it comes close to imbecility."" - H. L. Mencken

"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration--courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, above all, love of the truth."- H. L. Mencken

". Religions vary in their degree of idiocy, but I reject them all. For most people, religion is nothing more than a substitute for a malfunctioning brain." - Gene Roddenberry

"If God has spoken, why is the world not convinced?" - Percy Bysshe Shelley

"It is easier to suppose that the universe has existed for all eternity than to conceive a being beyond its limits capable of creating it." - Percy Bysshe Shelley

"Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd and bloody religion that has ever infected the world." - Voltaire

"Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be." - Frank Zappa


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"To sit alone with my

"To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me." - Charles William Stubbs

"For there is nothing either good or bad, thinking makes it so." - William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Hamlet, II.ii

"Faith: not wanting to know what is true." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"The being we call god is merely a pawn working for a powerful and rational force in some far-off galaxy. This force is trying to weed out people who are irrational by seeing who would be stupid enough to believe in his god illusion so easily. Those that believe in this illusion, he will send to eternal damnation and he will deliver the rational beings, those who stoically refused to believe in a god, to heaven." - Nicholas Yee

"God for you is where you sweep away all the mysteries of the world, all the challenges to our intelligence. You simply turn your mind off and say God did it." - Carl Sagan (1934-1996), Contact

"Religions are all alike - founded upon fables and mythologies."
--Thomas Jefferson

don't know who said this one though:
"All philosophies and religions are but partial truths. One must meld them together to arrive at greater truths."

"Faith: not wanting to know what is true." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
http://www.myspace.com/JuRbAlOiD155


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"It's fair to say that the

"It's fair to say that the Bible contains equal amounts of fact, history, and pizza." --Penn Jillette


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"I don't see any god up

"I don't see any god up here" - Yuri Gagarin - first man in space, while in space.


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When Jesus Christ came


When Jesus Christ came upon the Earth, you killed Him. The son of your own God. And only after He was dead did you worship Him and start killing those who would not. — Tecumseh
(You go great-great-great-great-etc. Grandpa!) 


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Here are some choice ones

Here are some choice ones from WisdomToday.com (http://wisdomtoday.com)

 

God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon

We need more understanding of human nature, because
the only real danger that exists is man himself.
- Carl Gustav Jung

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.
- Susan B. Anthony

If the gods listened to the prayers of men, all humankind would quickly perish since they constantly pray for many evils to befall one
another.
- Epicurus

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God? - Epicurus

God Himself, sir, does not propose to judge a man until his life is over. Why should you and I?
- Samuel Johnson

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo

To judge from the notions expounded by theologians, one must conclude that God created most men simply with a view to crowding hell.
- Marquis De Sade

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire

God is the great mysterious motivator of what we call nature and it has been said often by philosophers, that nature is the will of God
. And, I prefer to say that nature is the only body of God that we shall ever see.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
- Robert Frost

To know a person's religion we need not listen to his profession of faith but must find his brand of intolerance.
- Eric Hoffer

If I were personally to define religion, I would say that it is a bandage that man has invented to protect a soul made bloody by circustance.
- Theodore Dreiser

A country dominated by televangelism would be unrecognizable to the Founding Fathers, who envisioned religion as personal and spiritua, not social and political. No particular variety of religion was intended to control the political agenda, to set the community's mo
ral tone or to judge who are the true believers and members of our society. But this is precisely the objective of the electric church
.
- Razelle Frankel

My faith is that the only soul a man must save is his own.
- William Orville Douglas

England has forty-two religions and only two sauces.
- Voltaire

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car.
- Laurence J. Peter

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
- Oscar Wilde

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
- Art Hoppe

 


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TROUBLEMAKERS     Since

TROUBLEMAKERS  

Since no one really knows anything about God,
those who think they do are just
troublemakers.

 

Rabia Al-Basri

Judge: god, you have been accused of existence! What do you have to say for yourself?

god: I am innocent until proven guilty, your honour!


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Not strictly anti-religious

Not strictly anti-religious but...

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. - Socrates.

Freedom of religious belief is an inalienable right. Stuffing that belief down other people's throats is not.


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 "I refuse to prove that I

 "I refuse to prove that I exist" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing."  "Oh," says man, "but the Babel Fish is a dead give-away, isn't it?  It proves You exist, and so therefore You don't.  Q.E.D."  "Oh, I hadn't thought of that," says God, who promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.  ~Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Moral:  a peerless maxim enumerated by God in his Holy Bible, such as that of Deut. 23:1, if your testicles are crushed or your male member missing, you must never enter a sanctuary of the Lord.  ~Donald Morgan

There is a story, which is fairly well known, about when the missionaries came to Africa.  They had the Bible and we, the natives, had the land.  They said "Let us pray," and we dutifully shut our eyes.  When we opened them, why, they now had the land and we had the Bible.  ~Desmond M. Tutu, "Religious Human Rights and the Bible"

Religion:  A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.  ~Ambrose Bierce

I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do.  ~D. Dale Gulledge

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope?  If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't.  ~George Bernard Shaw

The world is not a prison house but a kind of spiritual kindergarten where millions of bewildered infants are trying to spell God with the wrong blocks.  ~Edwin Arlington Robinson

The god who is reputed to have created fleas to keep dogs from moping over their situation must also have created fundamentalists to keep rationalists from getting flabby.  Let us be duly thankful for out blessings.  ~Garrett Hardin


Sunday school:  a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.  ~H.L. Mencken

If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words.  I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul.  ~Isaac Asimov, I.  Asimov:  A Memoir

 

 

 



 

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't. ~George Bernard Shaw


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"There's a big difference

"There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over." - Frank Zappa. And a ton of other great quotes from the man on religion at http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/zappa.htm

 

"How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!" - Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks has some amazing material on Christianity/Pro-Life etc. Too many for me to choose from.


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Scythian wrote: If I were

Scythian wrote:

If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul. ~Isaac Asimov, I. Asimov: A Memoir

That brilliant quote pretty much sums up my whole position on religion.

The day I recognized that I was perfectly comfortable suffering punishment from a diety whom I had no respect for, and whom his followers are not worthy of respect either, was the day everything became clear. If there really is a god, and he punishes people for questioning the value of hypocritical charlatans, then I want no part of his world.  And I will gladly hold my head up high and march with full conviction into the christian hell and never regret it.  The fact that all this crap is an illusion is mere icing on the cake.

 

 


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Heard this one in a Dan

Heard this one in a Dan Barker song:

"I'm proud to be an atheist - it helps me stand for so much more and fall for so much less."

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"All religions have been

"All religions have been made by men." - Napoleon Bonaparte

"But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?" - Mark Twain

"We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." - Richard Dawkins

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beutiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" - Douglas Adams

"We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the same sense to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beutiful and his children smart." - H.L. Mencken


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"One cannot really be a

"One cannot really be a Catholic and grown up."

George Orwell 


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"I do not feel obliged to

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect, had intended for us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei

 "Atheism is a requirement for a complete human being. Religion is a crutch that is shackled to you, one you never really needed in the first place, but were convinced by others that you couldn't live without. Once you discover it's only an illusion, that it's not even a real crutch, you discard it gladly." -Brent Yaciw

"If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion.”
--Edmond de Goncourt

"The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike."
--Huang Po

"Faith is a cop-out. It is intellectual bankruptcy. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits."
--Dan Barker, former evangelist

"Atheism is not a philosophy; it is not even a view of the world; it is simply an admission of the obvious. In fact, 'atheist' is a term that should not ever exist. No one ever needs to identify himself as a 'non astrologer' or a 'non-alchemist'. We do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive or that aliens traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and their cattle. Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make in the presence of unjustified religious beliefs. An atheist is simply a person who believes that the 260 million Americans (87 percent of the population) claiming to 'never doubt the existence of God' should be obliged to present evidence for his existence-and, indeed, for his BENEVOLENCE, given the relentless destruction of innocent human beings we witness in the world each day."
--Sam Harris, "Letter to a Christian Nation"

 

 

 


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"you shall know the truth,

"you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:32

I know its from the bible, but its still a great anti-religion quote... 


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"Religion is the opium of

"Religion is the opium of the masses."

-Karl Marx


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I just read another one in

I just read another one in Time magazine by Mark Twain - this was in reply to someone back then claiming that America is (was) a Christian nation:

"So is Hell."

 

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Heaven

Heaven will be a great place as long as you keep the christians out. - G. Janus

 

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest"  - Denis Diderot.

The last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument: "It came from god."


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Thou shalt not kill ! That

Thou shalt not kill !

 

That pretty much guarantees everyone will die unless you can eat pebbles


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Three Amigos

“Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet”

 –Napoleon Bonaparte

“Hence today I believe I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator”

Adolph Hitler

“I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job.”

George W. Bush
 


 


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"Let's face it; God has an

"Let's face it; God has an ego problem, why do we always have to worship him? "- Bill Maher

"I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians." - Bill Maher

"I would never want to be the member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood." - George Carlin"

"I have as much authority as the pope, I just don't have as many people that believe it." George Carlin

"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." - Robert Heinlein

"History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it." - Robert Heinlein.

 

____________________________________________________________
"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me

"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.


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Thanks for all that. Gottem

Thanks for all that. Gottem filed ....

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move".  ~ Douglas Adams

Imagining a beginning is IMAGINING .... ~ me

To be an engaged atheist is a personal victory. ~ me   

 ___  A cool big Quote place ,  A - Z  , yeah even Zappa ....

"Positive Atheism's Big List of Quotations"  

http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/qframe.htm

   see their wild home page ,

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Positive++Atheism&btnG=Google+Search

 

 

 


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Thanks for all that. Gottem

opps - duplicate post


 

 

 


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Symok wrote

 With out religion...etc.,etc. I not sure but I think Voltaire said it first ? I'll do a check tomorrow.

 

Signature ? How ?


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Hey kid, looking for god ,

Hey kid, looking for god , stay away from the church .... good luck grasshopper.

    Trying to imitate Voltaire !   No, don't bother even checking back ever, with the church.


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If we go back to the

If we go back to the beginning we shall find that ignorance and fear created the gods; that fancy, enthusiasm, or deceit adorned or disfigured them; that weakness worships them; that credulity preserves them, and that custom, respect and tyranny support them in order to make the blindness of men serve its own interests.

-- Baron d'Holbach, The System of Nature
 

Nature, you say, is totally inexplicable without a God. That is to say, to explain what you understand very little, you have need of a cause which you understand not at all.

-- Baron d'Holbach, Good Sense
 

Few intelligent Christians can still hold to the idea that the Bible is an infallible Book, that it contains no linguistic errors, no historical discrepancies, no antiquated scientific assumptions, not even bad ethical standards. Historical investigation and literary criticism have taken the magic out of the Bible and have made it a composite human book, written by many hands in different ages. The existence of thousands of variations of texts makes it impossible to hold the doctrine of a book verbally infallible. Some might claim for the original copies of the Bible an infallible character, but this view only begs the question and makes such Christian apologetics more ridiculous in the eyes of the sincere man.

-- Elmer Homrighausen, Christianity in America
 

I recall the story of the philosopher and the theologian. The two were engaged in disputation and the theologian used the old quip about a philosopher resembling a blind man, in a dark room, looking for a black cat—which wasn't there. "That may be," said the philosopher: "but a theologian would have found it."
-- Julian Huxley, The Creed of a Scientific Humanist
 

 

Stultior stulto fuisti, qui tabellis crederes!


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That was like priceless

That was like priceless  Visual_Paradox  

... got some special links to share just maybe ?  I will be checking out them "saviors" ! 

 

 Edit - I just sent that to my e-mail people with these 2 songs, Thanks

   Andy Williams - Born Free     
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZHaQ3C3xQo

Supertramp - Logical Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEDT2RDIf1E&feature=related

      

          

    Yeah, I pick on everyone , it's a hobby !

 


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I know he went over to the

I know he went over to the somewhat spritualist side, but his comments about conventional relgion rock. From Bill Hicks;

Quote:

"Fundamentalist Christianity. Fascinating. These people actually believe the world is 12 thousand years old. Swear to God! Based on what? I asked them. "Well, we looked at all the people in the Bible, and we added them up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages – 12 thousand years." Well, how fucking scientific! Okay. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble there. That's good.You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay, I got one word to ask you. A one word question. Ready? "Uh-uh." Dinosaurs.

You know, the world's 12 thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and they existed in that time … you'd think it would have been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point. "And lo, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus … with a splinter in his paw. And O, the disciples did run a-shrieking: 'What a big fucking lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid, and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw, and the big lizard became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O, so many years, inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat fucking families and their fat dollar bills. And O, Scotland did praise the Lord: 'Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord.'"

Quote:

"You ever notice how people who believe in creationism look really unevolved?"

Quote:

"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross? Kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on, you know."

Quote:

"I'm sorry if anyone here is Catholic. I'm not sorry if you are offended, I'm actually sorry – just the fact that you're Catholic. Gotta be one of the most ludicrous fucking beliefs ever. Like these vampire priests sink their twin fangs of guilt and sin into you as a child and suck your joy of life out of you the rest of your fucking existence."

Quote:

"The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! "Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options."

Quote:

"Christianity has a built-in defense system: Anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It's a very interesting defense mechanism and the only way to get by it – and believe me, I was raised Southern Baptist – is to take massive amounts of mushrooms, sit in a field and just go, "Show me."

Quote:

"A guy says, "I hate Jews," and I said, "Why?" He goes, "Because they killed my God." They believe that. If I believed that the Jews killed my God, I'd worship the Jews, 'cause shit, there's some badasses on that team, man. I haven't seen God ever, I see Jews all the time – go figure."

And for the sake of self-deprication;

Quote:

"What do atheists scream when they cum?"

Stop that... It's silly.


Brion
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My signature has my favorite

My signature has my favorite quotes, I pretty much use it everytime I can, I got it from my "The Quotable Atheist" book, I'll post some more.

 

Ok, well I would post some...But I can't seem to find the book Sad

That sucks too, because I loved getting weird looks from people as I waited for my plane.

"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death praying for fish." - Anonymous
"If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you." -Anonymous


Lyzandra Daria
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Favorit (atheist) quotes

Brion wrote:

My signature has my favorite quotes, I pretty much use it everytime I can, I got it from my "The Quotable Atheist" book, I'll post some more.

 

Ok, well I would post some...But I can't seem to find the book Sad

That sucks too, because I loved getting weird looks from people as I waited for my plane.

>>>

I put two of my favorite quotes in my sig too. 

 

Here are a few more:

 

To fill a world with...religions of the Abrahamic kind, is like littering the streets with loaded guns.  Do not be surprised if they are used.  R Dawkins

 

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell

 

"I'd rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief." Gerry Spencer

 

"We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us" Samuel Johnson

 

"Believe one who has proved it.  Believe an expert." Virgil

 

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit attrocities." Voltaire

 

"Such evil deeds could religion prompt" Lucretius

 

"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness" Joseph Conrad

 

"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfullly as when they do it from a religious conviction" Blaise Pascale

>>>

"Faith must have adequate evidence else it is mere superstition"...Alexander Hodge (1823-1886)

"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes"...James Feibleman (1904-1987)

Respectfully, Lyz


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George Carlin On Religion

I love the routine that he gave on religion:

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PpA47o8E46U

 

the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument: it came from god

The last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument: "It came from god."


amccaffrey
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Religion has actually

Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do.. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ..But He loves you.

                                                                            -George Carlin


suttsteve
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"No one gets out of life

"No one gets out of life alive" is my new favorite.


Liam O'Brien (not verified)
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THE GOD DELUSION

 "When one person suffers from delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion, it is called Religion."

 

 


Conor Wilson
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My $0.02:

A bunch of quotes that will surprise...absolutely nobody:

 

"The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all

fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a

vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist,

infanticidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent

bully."--Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion, ch. 2.

 

 

"The study of theology,  as it stands in Christian churches, is the study of nothing;

it is founded on nothing; it rests on nothing; it proceeds by no authorities;

it has no data; it can demonstrate nothing."--Thomas Paine, in The Age Of Reason,

quoted with approval by David Mills in Atheist Universe, ch. 6.

 

"The moment we admit that our beliefs are attempts to represent states of the

world, we see that they must stand in right relation to the world to be valid."

--Sam Harris, The End Of Faith, ch. 2; emphasis in original.

 

"Urging humans to be superhumans, on pain of death and torture, is the urging

of terrible self-abasement at their repeated and inevitable failure to keep the

rules."--Christopher Hitchens, god is not great, ch. 15.

 

I could go on, as these books are gold mines of such quotes.  Like you didn't know

that, already.

 

Conor


Adroit
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  "Imagine a puddle waking
  "Imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'This is an interesting world I find my self in - an interesting hole I find my self in - fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!' This is such a powerful idea that as the sun rises in the sky and the air heats up and as, gradually, the puddle gets smaller and smaller, it's still frantically hanging on to the notion that everything's going to be alright, because this world was meant to have him in it, was built to have him in it; so the moment he disappears catches him rather by surprise. I think this may be something we need to be on the watch out for."
- Douglass Adams

 


JillSwift
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Adroit wrote:

Adroit wrote:

  "Imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'This is an interesting world I find my self in - an interesting hole I find my self in - fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!' This is such a powerful idea that as the sun rises in the sky and the air heats up and as, gradually, the puddle gets smaller and smaller, it's still frantically hanging on to the notion that everything's going to be alright, because this world was meant to have him in it, was built to have him in it; so the moment he disappears catches him rather by surprise. I think this may be something we need to be on the watch out for."
- Douglass Adams

 

One of my favorites from Adams. So much so that I made this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUtPwSsSKIg

 

"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray


Kavis
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You read my mind! I was

You read my mind, Adroit! I was about to post that very quote, when at the last moment I saw you'd beaten me to it.  Bravo.

Religion is a virus.
Fight the infection.