Darth Josh bumps into Way of the Master
A comedy bit by Rational Response Squad Admin Darth Josh with slight adaptation by RRS Co-Founder Brian Sapient. The original post is here.
Ray Comfort: Josh, have you ever told a lie?
Josh: Ray, have you ever told the truth?
Ray Comfort: Yes
Josh: What does that make you? A truther?
Ray Comfort:: Have you ever stolen?
Josh: Have you ever given without motive?
Ray Comfort:: Have you ever taken the lord's name in vain?
Josh: Which lord? Whose lord?
Ray Comfort:: Well, Josh, you're a lying, stealing blasphemer and you're going to go to hell if you don't change your ways.
Josh: Well, Ray, you're a lying, conniving preacher and when you get sick I'm going to withhold the cure for whatever disease wracks your body so you can see your lord quicker.
Ray Comfort: Don't you want to live forever in peace?
Josh: I'd prefer living a short while without jesus freaks.
Todd Friel: Why do you hate jesus?
Josh: Todd, have you ever told a lie?
Kirk Cameron: (goof-ass growing pains smile) Hayuck Hayuck. Wanna see my crocoduck?
Ray Comfort and Todd Friel: Not NOW, Kirk!
Just then a shaved muslim walks in and presses a detonator. Nothing happens. A few seconds pass and the muslim slaps his forehead.
Muslim: Shit. I forgot the bomb at the mosque. It is your fault, infidels!!!
(Josh exits room stage left.)
Ray Comfort: Mr. Muslim, have you ever told a lie?
Muslim: Why no, I haven't.
Ray Comfort: Have you ever stolen?
Muslim: Why no, of course not.
Ray Comfort: Have you ever taken the lord's name in vain?
Muslim: Never. I praise allah with every action and sentence.
Ray Comfort: No. I mean god.
Muslim: You mean Allah and Muhammed is his prophet.
Ray Comfort, Todd Friel, and Kirk Cameron(in unison): But Jesus is god's son.
Muslim: You idiots. Allah never took a wife, not even in mu'tah. Allah has no son.
Ray Comfort: Yes he did. The jews and Romans killed him.
Muslim: Fucking jews! I hate jews, but they cannot have killed Allah's son because Allah never had a son. I do not hate the jews for this. It is a lie. You are all three liars and Allah declares that you must die.
Ray Comfort, Todd Friel, and Kirk Cameron: But wait!!! We're saved! We asked for forgiveness!
Muslim: Just because you have asked does not mean it is granted, dumbasses.
With that, the muslim pulls out his 40 yr. old AK-47 and shoots all three of them.
Muslim: Now where did that atheist infidel go?
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